Behind The Shield Denise Olsen (Losing her firefighter husband on 9/11, Grief and Healing) - Episode 494
Denise Olsen is a nurse, yoga teacher and the widow of Jeff Olsen, one of the 343 firefighters killed on 9/11. We discuss her entry into healthcare, the genesis of their romance, protecting the WTC, the ripple effect of the attacks, grief, healthy coping mechanisms, growing from trauma, the importance of movement and so much more.
On the eve of Sept 11, 2001 my husband kissed me goodbye, left for work at his firehouse in downtown Manhattan and I never saw him again. He left behind 3 small children and made me a 32 year old widow. I felt as if my life came to a complete stop. Not living, not dead. Learning how to navigate this new life was difficult, to say the least.
The journey over the past 20+ years has been nothing short of miraculous. When we experience a tremendous loss or trauma, the grief is all encompassing. Trying to find your way out is similar to climbing a mountain. It certainly helps to have an experienced guide. I didn't have anyone nearby who had walked in my shoes. The internet was just beginning to pick up momentum so virtual groups were not popular. My husband was a lover of quotes and one day while going through one of his notebooks (just so I wouldn't forget his handwriting) I found a quote scribbled across the page-”Know Thyself”. It felt like a brick hit me in the head.
This was it. Digging my way out of this pile of shit named “Grief” wasn't about getting over him. It was about finding myself. I learned mostly through trial and error.(Lots of error) The closer I came to my own truth, the clearer everything became. I was able to see how my entire life was a series of moments that gave me the tools to survive what was the most debilitating pain I had ever felt.