Ever felt like you completely lost yourself in a relationship?

Like one day you woke up and thought, Wait… who even am I anymore? If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and, spoiler alert, it’s not just in your head. There’s real science behind why we fuse our identities with our partners and why breakups can feel like more than just heartbreak—they can feel like an identity crisis.

In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with relationship scientist Dr. Morgan Cope to break down the psychology behind losing yourself in a relationship, why it happens, and most importantly—how to rebuild your identity after love. Whether you're freshly single, in a relationship that feels too enmeshed, or just curious about how relationships shape our sense of self, this episode is packed with insights, humor, and practical strategies to help you come back to YOU.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Is Losing Yourself in a Relationship a Real Thing?

00:35 - Meet Dr. Morgan Cope & Her Research on Relationships & Identity

01:00 Understanding Identity in Relationships

03:07 - Attachment Styles and Identity

07:30 - Impact of Breakups on Identity

24:42 - Mental and Physical Effects of Breakups

30:27 - Fear of Being Single

32:02 - Changing the Environment vs Changing Yourself

36:56 - Rebounding and Self-Expansion

39:14 - Identity and Values Assessment

44:11 - Cult Psychology and Group Identity

51:21 - Personal Growth Through Relationship Challenges

Feeling lost after a breakup? I know how hard it can be to find yourself again, so I created something to help you out on your healing journey. Check out my FREE Breakup Recovery Quiz to get personalized insights on where you are in your healing journey & how to move forward so you can begin to feel like yourself again.

And if you’d like to keep this conversation going, I’d love to hear from you! You can find me on YouTube or Instagram. Every week, I drop a new podcast episode dedicated to your personal growth and healing so you can create love, happiness, and success in your life. I hope to see you there!

Xoxo

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

P.S. Know someone who might need to hear this? Share this video with a friend who’s struggling in their relationship or going through a tough breakup. 💕

#104 - Bruno Van Tuykom, Co-founder & CEO at Twentyeight Health