MASTER THE ART OF PRODUCTIVE DISAGREEMENT!!! Self Help & Argument Tips from Buster Benson

If you’ve ever struggled with arguments or disagreements, then do we have the why are we yelling show for you.

Today I’ll be talking with Buster Benson, entrepreneur, former product leader at Amazon, Twitter, Slack, and Patreon, the CEO of 750Words.com, and the author of a fun and fantastic look at disagreements, “Why Are We Yelling?”

And that’s just what I want to talk with him about today, about why in the world are we yelling?, and the art of productive disagreement. 

Key Points Discussed: 

• Why did you go from Silicon Valley to the art of disagreements? (02:49)
• The art of productive disagreement: Buster’s new superpower (03:44)
• What is a productive disagreement? (05:18)
• Ruinous empathy and how it can create disastrous situations (07:20)
• What’s the backfire effect and what’s going on with kitty cat? (09:56)
• What’s the importance of asking, “Is this about what’s true, what’s meaningful, or what’s useful?” (11:10)
• Should we be trying to win arguments? (15:15)
• What does it mean to acknowledge the shadow or projections? (15:58)
• The first step in the art of disagreement (18:47)
• Sliced bagels and what they have to with anxiety (19:34)
• The pink train named Rosy, our internal voices and the importance of self-talk (23:55)
• Developing an honest bias and getting a front seat to the interesting person that is Jeff Bezos (26:53)
• Challenging our beliefs and realizing how we are missing something today so we can be smarter tomorrow (32:15)
• Having productive conversations by asking questions that invite surprising answers (35:40)
• What is nut picking and why are we wired that we need to win? (40:31)
• What can you tell us about monkey paws and guns? (44:48)
• Cultivating neutral spaces to be mindful of the environments we’re in (46:11)
• Excepting reality and then participating in it (49:39)
• What have you been teaching your kids about productive disagreements? (51:55)
• How disagreeing on one thing a day can make a relationship stronger (54:33)

Additional Resources:

• www.BusterBenson.com
• Buster on Twitter
• Why Are We Yelling By Buster Benson
• Radical Candor By Kim Scott
• Willful Blindness By Margaret Heffernan

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