Ep 22: What we ALL want for Christmas with Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino

Don't worry it's not all about Christmas! Christmas is a great framework to discuss some really important issues.

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Keywords

gender roles, fatherhood, emotional labor, parenting, equality, family dynamics, holiday traditions, shame, guilt, identity

Summary

This conversation delves into the evolving roles of parents, particularly focusing on gender dynamics in parenting. The speakers discuss how traditional gender roles impact both men and women, the importance of open conversations before becoming parents, and the need for shared emotional labor in family dynamics. They explore the significance of creating joy during holidays and the challenges of breaking down societal norms and gatekeeping. The discussion also touches on the concepts of shame and guilt in parenting, emphasizing the need to redefine identities and scripts around parenthood.

Takeaways

Gender roles are often gendered and can hurt both men and women.
The role of fathers has evolved significantly over the years.
Conversations about parenting should start before the baby arrives.
Emotional labor and cognitive tasks often fall disproportionately on one partner.
Teaching boys to notice and participate in household tasks is crucial.
Creating joy during holidays can enhance family connections.
Mothers should feel empowered to take time away from home.
Shame is tied to identity, while guilt is tied to actions.
It's important to challenge and redefine parenting scripts.
Parents should reflect on their values and identities regularly.

Titles

Redefining Parenthood: Gender Roles and Emotional Labor
The Changing Face of Fatherhood

Sound bites

"Gender roles hurt men too."
"Shame is tied to our identity."
"Who do I want to be as a parent?"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Conversation
02:53 Exploring Gender Roles in Parenting
06:11 The Evolution of Fatherhood
06:21 The Importance of Shared Responsibilities
08:20 Cognitive and Emotional Labor in Households
11:28 The Role of Antenatal Programs
13:52 The Impact of Societal Expectations
16:43 The Concept of 'Noticing' in Parenting
18:58 Creating Joy During the Holidays
22:16 Navigating Family Dynamics at Christmas
24:52 Breaking Down Barriers to Equality
27:37 Conclusion and Reflections
29:19 The Dynamics of Gatekeeping and Power
31:40 Traditions and the Role of Women
33:16 Changing Family Dynamics and Emotional Labor
34:54 The Importance of Caregiving Roles
36:08 Building Relationships Through Shared Joy
39:24 The Challenge of Emotional Vulnerability in Parenting
43:53 Learning from Dads: The Value of Different Parenting Styles
45:25 Shame, Guilt, and Identity in Parenting