Break the Pattern: Creating Positive and Healthy Relationships with Kimya Motley and Dr. Alduan Tartt

Aug 12, 2024

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TW: This episode discusses domestic and gun violence.

This inspiring episode focuses on the journey from trauma to healing and loving relationships, featuring a conversation with A Call to Men Chief Communications Officer Kimya Motley, who is a domestic violence (dv) survivor, and psychologist and relationships expert Dr. Alduan Tartt.

Kimya shares her remarkable story of resilience and recovery after surviving repeated violence, emphasizing the importance of recognizing red flags and finding positive role models for healthy manhood.

Dr. Tartt, who also played a pivotal role in Kimya's healing journey, serving as an example of positive masculinity, provides insights into fostering healthy relationships and offers practical advice on breaking the cycle of abuse.

They explore the power of community, policy reform and media representation in an effort to create a safer and more supportive world. Despite the harrowing realities they discuss, this conversation shines a light on the hope and healing that can emerge from even the darkest experiences.

They also discuss IT ENDS WITH US, the new film from Wayfarer Studios and Justin Baldoni, which depicts situations and themes of dv between its two lead characters. The film, which just celebrated its global theatrical premiere, was made in close consultation with our partners at NO MORE and is based on the best-selling novel by Colleen Hoover.

Join a hopeful conversation, providing valuable tools for anyone committed to understanding and combating dv. Watch the video version on our YouTube.

If you or someone you know has experienced domestic or sexual violence, help is available: http://nomore.org/

QUOTES:

"You don’t just wake up one day to get shot by your husband. There are things that you go through in your life that bring you to that." - Kimya

"We have to produce more media where people can see examples of positive manhood because we take it for granted that everyone sees this." - Dr. Tartt

"To be man enough means to be your authentic self, not being defined by what other people say you should be or represent as a man, but what does being a man feel like to you?" - Kimya

"The most healing came from me sharing my story with other people, hearing women and men come and say, ‘Thank you for sharing that,’ and then they were able to share their stories of abuse, surviving, and men who had a part." - Kimya

"Being man enough means being bigger than your pride and admitting that you need help." - Dr. Tartt

"The emotional abuse usually sets the groundwork for the physical abuse to then feel normal or even deserved." - Liz

ABOUT THE GUESTS

Kimya Motley is an educator, activist, and author dedicated to ending violence against women and girls. At A Call to Men, she uses her personal story to inspire change and promote healthy manhood. Her memoir, Born of Violence, gained national attention, and her work has been featured in Essence, Red Table Talks, and more. She co-produced the documentary Intentionally Erased and created violence-prevention trainings for the NFL and MLB.

Dr. Alduan Tartt is a psychologist, minister, speaker, and author, recognized as a leading expert in relationships and mental health. He has a PhD in Clinical Psychology and received the NAACP Lifetime Achievement Award for his dedication to empowering youth and families. He's a passionate advocate for redefining masculinity to include emotional expression, compassion, and strength, and he's committed to helping people build healthy, fulfilling relationships.