New Relationship Energy-S04E37

Jan 19, 2023

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Recorded: 7/3/2022 / Published: 01/18/2023

Text your questions and comments to 865-268-4005 or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

In this week’s episode, we are talking about new relationship energy.

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Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
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“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

“New Relationship Energy-S04E37”

1. What is NRE?
  1. the strong emotional, physical, and sexual response you have towards someone when you are in a new relationship with them. NRE is most often thought about with a new partner. However, NRE can be the result of a new friendship, job, vehicle, video game, pet, or basically anything new that enters into a person’s life.
2. How long does it last?
  1. It starts from the initial attraction and can last anywhere from three months to two years.
3. What causes NRE?
  1. The new relationship causes changes in brain signals that cause an immense rush of hormones, particularly adrenaline and oxytocin. After an unknown time period, habituation kicks in and our brain chemistry will return to what it was prior to the hormone rush.
4. Is it dangerous?
  1. In short, yes.
    1. First, it causes a person to act in a way they normally would not act. Often this is compared to the way addicts behave.
    2. Second, when it is a bad case of NRE, it tends to create exceptionally unhealthy and very codependent relationships.
    3. Finally, a large number of people become addicted to NRE and will constantly jump from one relationship to another. Often this is not done with ethics and people are hurt in the process.
5. Can it be avoided?
  1. No. However, the level of NRE a person gives into can absolutely be minimized through communication with loved ones, self-awareness, not rushing things, not forgetting about other things you love, forcing yourself to maintain your hobbies, and setting boundaries within the new and preexisting relationships.
6. Dealing with the aftermath:
  1. There are two groups of people that have to deal with NRE aftermath the person that experienced it and the people they’ve hurt.
  2. The person that experienced NRE:
    1. Accept responsibility for your actions.
    2. Atone within reason. (While you may have hurt people spending the rest of your life making up for it is typically not the way to go for anyone involved. Sometimes, people are unable to get over being hurt. When this is the case, a mature and friendly conversation about ending the relationship is typically best for all involved. With this said, this is not a decision that should be made quickly. I believe that people should work together to either improve their relationship or earn their way out by doing everything possible to make it work and reach a place of forgiveness and health. Therapy, including relationship therapy, is typically part of that process.
  3. The people caught in the wake of NRE:
    1. Try your best to be understanding toward the situation while also being true to yourself. If you have done the work and you know that forgiveness and moving forward is not a possibility then don’t punish yourself by punishing them. Have that mature and friendly conversation about how to end the relationship.

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