Psychology In Seattle Podcast Attachment Annoyance, Aromanticism, and Break-In Trauma
Jan 19, 2026
Exploring attachment styles, the discussion reveals how secure attachment is often seen as the gold standard in relationships. Kirk highlights the complexities of romantic commitments, arguing that while many seek long-term partnerships, others thrive without them. A listener's journey through break-in trauma sheds light on recovery strategies and the significant impact trauma can have on well-being. The episode balances personal anecdotes with clinical insights, making for an engaging listening experience.
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Labels Shape Attachment Narratives
- Attachment labels can bias public perception by framing insecure styles as pathology and secure style as purely preferable.
- Kirk Honda argues labels like "anxious" or "fearful" carry stigma and can distort how people interpret attachment research.
Use Clear, Non-Fearful Attachment Terms
- Use non-fearful, descriptive terms (e.g., preoccupied, disorganized) to reduce confusion and stigma in attachment labeling.
- Avoid solely strength-based or solely pathologizing language; acknowledge real harms while noting possible skills gained from adversity.
Name Problems While Highlighting Strengths
- Don't eliminate problem language entirely; name real dangers so clinicians can address them effectively.
- Emphasize strengths but also acknowledge urgent risks that require direct intervention.