Join our mail list here for exclusive content here. Sign up for our January Good Fathers group here; https://abty.co.uk/good-fathers On episode 197 I am joined by Dr. Gordon Neufeld, author of the best selling book Hold on to Your Kids, co-authored with Dr. Gabor Maté. Before he retired, Dr. Gordon Neufeld had accumulated more than 40 years of experience as a clinical psychologist with children and youth and those responsible for them. A foremost authority on child development, Dr. Neufeld continues to be an international speaker, a best-selling author (Hold On to Your Kids) and a leading interpreter of the developmental paradigm. Dr. Neufeld has a widespread reputation for making sense of complex problems and for opening doors for change. While formerly involved in university teaching and private practice, he has devoted the best part of the last two decades to creating courses for parents, teachers and helping professionals. These courses are offered primarily through the Neufeld Institute – an online educational institute and world-wide charitable organization devoted to applying developmental science to the task of raising children. Dr. Neufeld’s life's work has been to help adults provide the conditions for children to flourish. He is a father of five and a grandfather to seven. In this episode you will hear: 03:00 why parents are struggling 07:30 we are being educated out of our instincts 09:30 the universal force of attachment 12:30 peer orientation vs. the village of attachment 17:00 why it is so difficult for step-parents 20:00 our roles as fathers 21:30 a child’s natural desire to be good versus counter-will 23:00 true power isn’t something we draw attention to 26:30 we are the answer 28:30 universal principles of attachment 30:00 the paradox of independence 35:00 it is always too early to retire 39:00 who am I the same as and the importance of family values 42:30 pick your battles 45:00 the damage caused by sending them to their room 48:00 hold on to your kids 50:30 the impact of parents that are always on their phones 53:30 you’re not going to feel on the battlefield, but home is where we get our hearts back 57:30 vulnerability is the enemy and the essence of the bully 59:00 Dr. Gordon’s Heartprint 1:02:00 the most important belief to have as a parent Connect with Dr. Gordon Neufeld Website: https://neufeldinstitute.org/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NeufeldInstitute YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/neufeldmedia Connect with Always Better than Yesterday Website: https://abty.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alwaysbetterthanyesterdayuk/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/abty/ Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/weareabty Thank you to our friends at Elevate OM, proud supporters of the Always Better than Yesterday Interview Sessions. Head to https://www.elevateom.com/ for Online Marketing & Web Design services that are affordable, bespoke & awesome. podcast@abty.co.uk