What Your Dad Didn't Teach You #18 - Why You Still Feel Insecure (Even After the Gym + Texting Skills)
Apr 6, 2025
In a captivating discussion, a dating coach uncovers the deeper reasons behind dating insecurities. It’s revealed that self-relationship is the key to healthy partnerships. They explore three layers affecting dating: looks, skills, and self-worth. The concept of a love blueprint is introduced, emphasizing the impact of upbringing and past experiences. The conversation highlights the importance of internal work over external tactics, offering practical steps for emotional regulation and self-reflection. Insights into generational patterns further enrich the dialogue.
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Why Looks And Lines Aren't Enough
- Insecurity in dating often persists despite looks or lines because it's rooted deeper than skills or status.
- Mathijs explains three levels: appearance/status, skills, and the core 'just be' inner work that matters most.
Prioritize Inner Work After Skills
- Do prioritize inner work (the 'just be' layer) after building skills and lifestyle improvements.
- Fixing core self-worth reduces reliance on external coping strategies and improves dating outcomes.
Map Your Love Blueprint
- Do map your "love blueprint" by listing formative experiences and triggers that shaped your dating beliefs.
- Use that map to identify recurring convictions like "I'm not worthy" and where they originated.