The Healthy Skin Show 059: Stop Giving Unsolicited Advice (And How To Better Support People With Skin Rashes)
If you’ve ever been vulnerable enough to share some pretty embarrassing details of what’s going on with your skin, you’ve probably gotten a lot of comments and advice that you really didn’t ask for.
Especially when some people have very firm (ahem… pushy) beliefs that dictate that there’s just ONE WAY to solve your problem.
I’ll bet you may have regretted sharing.
Living with chronic skin rashes can be a very isolating experience. When you can’t safely share where you are without the onslaught of what is known as unsolicited advice, it can make you think twice about ever sharing again.
Today I’m breaking down how to avoid constantly giving unsolicited advice and how to better support people in the chronic skin rash community (and in your life).
In this episode:
- What is unsolicited advice?
- Why unsolicited advice is incredibly unhelpful and unsupportive no matter how good your intentions are
- How to respond to someone sharing their story that’s more supportive
- The one phrase you must never use when responding to someone’s vulnerable health share
Quotes:
Some of the reasons why giving unsolicited advice are typically the worst move you can make have to do with the fact that you don't know everything that's going on with that person and what they're going through. They've chosen to share a very tiny portion of what's going on. And there is research demonstrating that people who give unsolicited advice have prioritized their need to give advice over what that person needs to be supported.
Support is not the same thing as giving advice. Advice is welcome only when it is explicitly asked for or if you get permission to share. Every share that comes across your feed is not necessarily an invitation for advice. Oftentimes people just want to feel heard without you or anyone else offering a solution.
Further Reading
Why Unsolicited Advice Can Ruin Relationships (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moments-matter/201608/why-unsolicited-advice-can-ruin-relationships)
Why People Give Unsolicited Advice (Though No One Listens) (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201712/why-people-give-unsolicited-advice-though-no-one-listens)
What To Do About That Person Who Won’t Stop Giving You Unsolicited Advice
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