We've got 4 Rounds in the Magazine! Round 1: Update the safety brief: longtime stoolie Shakira was involved in a wild boar attack. Head on a swivel, folks. Round 2: In a story fit for Netflix, a former Army Ranger faces extradition to the Netherlands where he is wanted for being a hitman that killed a German businessman. Round 3: The Taliban is sick and tired of their boots acting like nasty little turds. Round 4: The Chairman of the joint chiefs went before both houses of congress this week, it was an absolute shitshow.

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