Date Your Wife Childrearing is a Sh*t Show! | Date Your Wife | Ep 004
In This Week's Podcast....PARENTING Point #1: Understanding Parenting from Paper Routes, Serving Tables, and Spankings
- The way in which we all parent is stemmed from our childhood experiences, shaping our approaches to parenting, where Danielle learned about taking care of others through serving tables briefly as a teen to Garrett wanting make money of his own so he found begin getting up early and doing a paper route.
- When it came to discipline, Danielle was threatened but didn't experience a lot of follow through while Garrett would get spanked with a paddle.
QUESTION: What kind of discipline did you experience as a child? How has it shaped the kind of parenting you choose now?
Point #2: Choosing to Have Kids...Until We Pass Out
- Danielle always wanted to have lots of kids and looks forward to creating that bond and unity with them, but Garrett has always been more of a baby lover, even though he passed out during the birth of their second child.
- For him, parenting is something that he always looked forward to because it gave him a chance to raise children with his own parenting style and technique, helping them shape themselves through his stewardship.
QUESTION: Why did your parents have you? Why do you choose to have children?
Point #3: Navigating Dates Amongst the Chaos- There are elements within Garrett's life that only became defined after becoming a father, believing that having children with Danielle forced them to find each other.
- They manage the chaos through regular date nights, which is also the whole reason behind the podcast getting formed, taking the time to find purpose within each other and not solely in the kids.
QUESTION: How do you navigate parenting and still remain connected as a couple?
Point #4: Purpose Beyond Children and Partner- We have to have a purpose beyond our spouse and children, then take it to the next level by remaining committed to each other and then the kids, in that order.
- Even though there's a sense of ownership in the form of controlling our kids, it comes down to paving the way for them through our own personal approach with life, but realizing that we don't own our kids and allow them to make their own choices.
QUESTION: What order are you putting yourself, your relationship with your spouse and the commitment you have with your children?
Point #5: No More Love to Be Found Requires Time Outs for Parents- For Danielle, she's continually trying to figure things out, and has found that she need to put herself in a time out to clear the guilt for losing her cool, reminding herself that she's the adult and everyone else needs to be separated to their own space.
- For Garrett, he would rather go to battle to fight for love, and shares a text that he sent to his daughter after their latest battle, stating, "I love you no matter what." This is a Challenge for the rest of the week.
QUESTION: What do you do when you don't want to love your kids and be the parent anymore?
Parenting Challenge:
Begin stating, "I love you no matter what" with your spouse and especially your children, showing that you want to let them know that you love them regardless of the struggles and wins in their life; they are loved for being themselves.
Date Night Topic:
Plan Date Night and then tell your spouse what it is you planned, not being offended if they want to do something else.
Quote of the Week:
"There is a whole aspect of being a human being that we cannot find without having children of our own. Having children together forced us as a couple to actually find each other. We do this in the following order: 1) Take care of yourself, 2) Date your spouse, and 3) love on your kids to have strong relationships at home. The purpose of my role as a father is to teach and train my children how to take care of themselves and be a contributing member in society."
--Garrett J White
"We've got to pave a way for our children but that doesn't mean that we necessarily control everything that they do. I remember with our youngest daughter as she was gaining her own personality and independence being so worried that something was wrong with her, only to hear clearly a Voice within me state, 'She was never yours to lose.' After that, I realized that I can try to influence them, but to become a good parent it's more about not stressing out than trying to be in control of them."
--Danielle White