Dr. Jenny Brown discusses the complexities of triangles in relationships, highlighting the difference between being in a triangle and being triangulated. The podcast explores the predictable ways triangles work and how to remain neutral. It also delves into the importance of self-reflection, breaking cycles, and promoting growth in relationships.
Triangular relationships provide emotional stability through alliances and assurance.
Detangling from triangulation involves recognizing dynamics, self-management, and avoiding unnecessary involvement.
Deep dives
Triangular Relationships and Emotional Stability
Triangular relationships are crucial for emotional stability as they serve to steady individuals and relationships by forming alliances and offering assurance. Venting about a third party to a friend can stabilize individuals, akin to an emotional 'antidepressant,' which helps bridge maturity gaps and validate emotions. Understanding triangles and their function in relationships is essential for providing calm principled leadership.
Recognizing and Addressing Triangles in Interpersonal Dynamics
Being in a triangle or being triangulated involves complex dynamics where individuals are invited to join or initiate triangles, often leading to venting or shifting blame onto third parties. Common scenarios involve discussing others' issues or seeking validation through venting, which can perpetuate unproductive relationship patterns. The process of detangling involves recognizing these dynamics, focusing on self-management, and avoiding unnecessary involvement in others' issues.
Observing and Redirecting Energy in Triangles
Focusing on energy direction in relationship interactions helps individuals navigate triangles effectively by acknowledging their responses, managing strong emotions, and promoting self-awareness. Tools such as mapping out interactions, reflecting on behavior, and setting personalized guiding principles can aid in recognizing and correcting one's role in triangles. By remaining neutral and observing self in relationships, individuals can foster growth and differentiation.
Cultivating Emotional Maturity and Transformation in Relationships
Overcoming triangulation challenges requires a long-term commitment to personal growth and understanding one's role in relational patterns. By learning to stay connected without enabling or disrupting others' emotions, individuals can navigate complex relationships with maturity. Triangles can serve as learning opportunities to explore alternative ways of engaging in relationships and fostering mutual growth and emotional regulation.
Triangles are not good or bad….but they are tricky.
We're excited to kick off our new two-part series, "Managing Self in Triangles". Our guest for this episode is Dr. Jenny Brown, the founder and executive director of the Family Systems Institute and Family Systems Practice in Sydney, Australia.
Dr. Brown is the author of the insightful book, "Growing Yourself Up: How to bring your best to all of life’s relationships", which provides practical guidance on personal development within the context of our relationships. She is also the co-author of "Bowen family systems theory in Christian ministry: Grappling with Theory and its Application Through a Biblical Lens", a thought-provoking exploration of the Bowen family systems theory within the context of Christian ministry.
In addition to her writing and counseling work, Dr. Brown is lead the Parent Hope Project. This initiative equips clinicians to effectively engage parents of symptomatic children, adolescents, and young adults, providing a roadmap for parents to discover ways they can change their part in dynamics that are inadvertently impeding their young person’s development of self-regulation and responsibility.
Conversation Overview:
Are triangles bad?
What are triangles for?
What is the difference between triangles and triangulating?
What are some of the predictable ways that triangles work?
How do you remain in an outside or neutral position?