Ari Kardos, founder of Relearn Love and author of Relationship Agreements, explores the art of relearning love. She discusses how generational patterns shape our relationships and introduces her transformative 'Four C's' approach. Ari emphasizes the importance of curiosity, humility, and seeking the right support in navigating relationships. With personal anecdotes, she highlights the power of external perspectives in understanding emotional dynamics and encourages proactive changes for healthier connections. Dive into this enlightening conversation on nurturing love and intimacy!
Many individuals grow up without healthy role models, leading to the adoption of dysfunctional patterns in their relationships.
Relearning love involves a four C's framework: Curiosity, Cultivating Knowledge, Change, and Celebration for better connections.
Establishing a safe environment in relationships fosters authenticity, allowing open communication and deeper intimacy between partners.
Deep dives
The Need to Relearn Love
Many individuals grow up without healthy models of love, often stemming from dysfunctional family environments. Early experiences shape how people relate to one another, and most don't realize how significant these influences are until adulthood. Common portrayals of love in media further reinforce dysfunctional habits, preventing individuals from recognizing healthy patterns. To foster better relationships, it's essential to unlearn negative behaviors and relearn healthier ways to connect.
Benefits of Relearning Love
Relearning love opens doors to enhanced connections that many do not realize they are missing. Even those who believe their relationships are satisfactory can benefit from this process, as it can introduce joy and childlike wonder into their lives. Engaging in this journey often leads to improved communication skills, which positively affects not just romantic relationships, but interactions with children and colleagues as well. Ultimately, it can lessen stress and provide a sense of relaxation, leading to a more fulfilling life overall.
Breaking Free from Dysfunctional Patterns
Many people are unaware of the harmful patterns they have adopted due to past trauma or learned behavior. Patterns like placing too much importance on personal judgments or handling conflict poorly often stem from childhood experiences. Developing awareness and breaking these patterns requires a willingness to acknowledge vulnerabilities and rethink habitual responses. By understanding that change is possible, individuals can start to embrace new tools for healthier communication and intimacy.
The Four C's Framework
The framework for relearning love consists of four key elements: Curiosity, Cultivating Knowledge, Change, and Celebration. Curiosity involves questioning existing beliefs about love and relationships, which opens pathways for learning and understanding. Cultivating knowledge refers to acquiring useful tools and practices to improve connections, while Change focuses on implementing these learnings into everyday life. Finally, Celebration emphasizes acknowledging progress and achievements, fostering motivation and reinforcing the positive changes made.
Creating Safe Connections
One of the essential skills in establishing effective relationships is creating a safe environment where individuals feel comfortable being themselves. This safety fosters authenticity, helping partners communicate openly and effectively. Techniques for fostering this safety can enhance intimacy and connection, allowing both individuals to express their vulnerabilities without fear of judgment. By establishing this foundation, relationships can flourish and grow in a supportive and loving atmosphere.
Did you grow up with excellent role models on how to love and have great, happy, and lasting relationships? If you are like most of us, the answer to that is no. While our parents did their best, we all picked up patterns and behaviors that have not served us or our relationships. In this episode of The Love Lab Podcast, Kevin Anthony talks with the founder of Relearn Love, Eri Kardos about how we learned to love, why we need to relearn how to love, and her 4 C's approach to relearning love and creating the relationships you have always wanted.
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