Living with Daily Suicidal Thoughts: Wally’s Story of Pain, Tools, and Mental Health Survival

What does it mean to live with suicidal thoughts every single day—and still choose to live?

In this profoundly honest episode, Wally, a U.S. veteran and trauma survivor, shares what it’s like to manage chronic suicidal ideation without intent. From physical pain and brain injuries to trauma and toxic self-talk, Wally explains how he built an arsenal of mental health tools—mindfulness, cognitive therapy, personal inventory systems—and why talking about suicide needs to become safer, not more secret.

This episode redefines what survival looks like and opens a critical, compassionate space for those navigating similar battles. Suicidal ideation is not always an emergency—it’s often a symptom asking to be heard. Wally shows us how to listen.

CSSRS info link: http://cssrs.columbia.edu/wp-content/uploads/C-SSRS-Brochure-for-First-Responders-1.pdf

Primary Topics Covered:

• Differentiating suicidal ideation from suicidal intent
• Wally’s personal experience living with chronic suicidal thoughts
• The role of pain, trauma, and TBI in persistent ideation
• Why people avoid sharing suicidal thoughts—and the danger of stigma
• Wally’s Personal Assessment Scale for suicide safety
• Coping strategies: CBT, DBT, mindfulness, and customized check-ins
• Creating a mental health inventory for self-assessment
• How to support someone without trying to “fix” them
• The power of curiosity, empathy, and asking the right questions

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome and introduction
01:10 Suicidal thoughts on a spectrum: understanding the difference between ideation and intent
02:04 The Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale (CSSRS)
03:49 Meet Wally: Veteran, trauma survivor, and mental health advocate
04:18 Why people keep suicidal thoughts secret
05:11 Wally on managing suicidal ideation without being in crisis
06:29 Childhood abuse and early trauma
07:11 Military service, structure, and hard-earned wisdom
07:45 Surviving a 45-foot fall and traumatic brain injuries
08:24 Chronic pain and toxic self-talk after injury
09:20 The daily mental ritual of dismissing despair
10:33 Public conversations about suicidal ideation on social media
11:00 Mental health tools: CBT, DBT, and breathwork
11:45 Creating a personal inventory for self-assessment
12:49 Wally’s three-level Personal Assessment Scale for suicidal ideation
14:06 What to ask someone having suicidal thoughts
15:17 Boundaries when offering help online or in person
16:08 Holding space and creating safer conversations about suicide
17:07 Reducing knee-jerk responses to suicidal ideation
18:29 How to be a better listener and supporter
19:11 Links to Wally’s blog, CSSRS, and personal inventory template

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