In this episode, I share the costs of reassurance seeking, the act of trying to find certainty about your relationship. If you tend to constantly be searching for the perfect piece of advice (even from me!), you’re addicted to the illusion of certainty as a means of feeling safe. Listen to this episode for things you can do instead to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and not dampen it through reassurance-seeking.

Links:

Both Feet In: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-self-study-course

Patreon - next call May 15: https://www.patreon.com/AnxiousLoveCoach

Wisio: https://www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Apply to work with me 1:1: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/1-on-1-coaching-with-natalie

2:28 Why do we seek assurance when we have relationship anxiety?

7:50 The hidden costs of assurance seeking

12:35 How assurance-seeking can make your partner seem less attractive to you

16:50 The importance of standing on your own two feet in terms of self-trust

20:00 The danger of becoming addicted to certainty

28:30 Healthier alternatives to assurance seeking

33:27 - Your partner is in their own process, they cannot come to your rescue

63: Why reassurance seeking is not free (and what to do instead)