Episode #109 -- Understanding Masturbation with Dr. Dean Busby
Mar 18, 2024
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Dr. Dean Busby and the host discuss the stigma and confusion around masturbation, exploring its impact on relationships and emphasizing understanding sexuality beyond reproduction. They also address managing sexual energy while single and navigating hormonal changes in relationships, highlighting the importance of embracing passion and purpose in life.
Understanding the role of hormones in sexual experiences, emphasizing peak levels before marriage and redirection of sexual energy towards relationships.
Importance of discerning the purpose of masturbation, aligning it with relational goals to enhance sexual experiences, advocating for understanding and patience in ecclesiastical roles.
Deep dives
Understanding the Purpose of Sexuality and Development of Research on Hormones
Sexuality serves the purposes of attracting individuals to relationships and bonding with partners, strengthening relationships, and potentially reproduction. Dr. Dean Busby emphasizes the significance of research on hormones like oxytocin, testosterone, and estrogen in understanding sexual experiences. Hormone levels peak before marriage and reduce with age, affecting sexual energy. The goal is to teach singles to redirect sexual energy towards building meaningful relationships.
Masturbation: Definition, Continuum, and Purpose
Masturbation is broadly defined as self-stimulation that triggers sexual responses, encompassing a range from mental arousal to physical stimulation. Dr. Busby emphasizes the importance of discerning the purpose behind masturbation, whether it directs individuals towards relationships or solely focuses on personal pleasure. The continuum of self-stimulation varies from mild arousal to physical pleasure, and aligning stimulation with relational goals can enhance sexual experiences.
Approaching Masturbation in Religious and Ecclesiastical Settings
In ecclesiastical roles regarding matters of masturbation, Dr. Busby advocates for understanding and patience rather than harsh judgment. He suggests viewing early sexual explorations during puberty as learning experiences similar to a child's journey in learning to walk, acknowledging that mistakes and struggles are part of the growth process. Encouraging reason, flexibility, and counseling that avoids shame is essential in guiding individuals through this aspect of their sexual development.
Managing Sexual Energy and Emotional Connection in Relationships
Dr. Busby highlights the importance of fostering emotional connection in relationships and managing sexual energy, especially in older age when hormonal changes occur. Encouraging non-sexual intimate activities to stimulate oxytocin and deepen emotional bonds is crucial in maintaining a fulfilling sexual relationship. Acknowledging the natural decline in libido with age and incorporating ways to sustain emotional connection beyond sexual desire is key.
This Live Your Why Podcast episode is a MUST LISTEN!! Tammy discusses the confusing religious messaging and personal shame that is too frequently associated with masturbation. Dr. Dean Busby, BYU School of Family Life professor and former co-teacher with Tammy in BYU's first Healthy Sexuality course, come together to talk about this important topic. If you are a parent, teacher, leader...PLEASE listen!
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