Kuldrin's Krypt A BDSM 101 Podcast How to Avoid Burnout in BDSM-S01E43
May 26, 2018
31:52
Recorded: May 13, 2018 / Published: May 26, 2018
Contact us: 865-268-4005 or https://kudrinskrypt.com
Rules to Love by:
Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
Definitions
What is burnout? Regardless of your position in the lifestyle you can become burnt out. Burnout is often also called Dom fatigue, or sub fatigue, and thought of as an extended drop. Honestly though you can experience a form of this even without having a partner. It is simply the feeling that you’ve had too much of the lifestyle for a time and you cannot find the energy or zeal that you used to have regularly to continue. And it’s not just a feeling of oh I’m tired after this scene, it’s a deeper more resounding, I want nothing to do with this in my life right now feeling. So for those who are really committed to the lifestyle or a particular relationship the feeling can be devastating. I really always compare burnout in the lifestyle to that of the workplace, if you don’t take a vacation for a long time you can get burnt out and the same applies here.
How can the lifestyle make you jaded?
Run-ins with predators and fakes.
One run in can be detrimental but when you're trying to find the “one” it can be frustrating to the point of spiraling you into a sort of depressed state, which is a lot like burnout feels like.
Stress
Changes like a move, new job, or end/beginning of a relationship.
Of course, having a relationship end can be very mentally jarring and leave you feeling empty and exhausted. But, new relationships can also do this simply because of all the training and adjusting you may find yourself doing. Some people do of course experience frenzy at the start of a relationship but for others, it can be a very daunting thing. You spend so much time looking for the right person that when you find them, you can feel like you just don't have anything left to give.
Feeling stagnant.
Sometimes when you've been in a relationship for a while you can start feeling burnt out, the rush of those amazing new relationship drugs has worn off and you can find yourself in a rut. Or you might find yourself doing the same thing every day or every scene and wanting to push forward but just not having it in you to do so. This kind of stagnation can cause an extreme drop that just leaves you drained.
What to do when you notice this happening?
Turning to your support system
Taking a break
It's important to self-monitor and understand what you are going through. Don't just assume that you are experiencing drop because while you are, burnout runs so much deeper, and often last longer.
Communicate with those closest to you that you are taking a break in the interest of self-care, and clearly defined what you are stepping back from.
Taking a break doesn't mean that you are ending a relationship, it just means that you are doing what is necessary to keep the relationship going, and to make all aspects of your life better.
When taking a break in a committed relationship
Communication
If you're experiencing stagnation talk to your partner, you can often use this as a platform to change the way you play. Introduce new fantasies or even reintroduce old ones to create a new experience.
Finding yourself to ready to get back into the lifestyle
Bouncing back when you can
Self-monitor, you'll know when you feel ready to get back into the lifestyle.
Be aware that coming back from a break can spur you into a frenzied period.
A final note or two.
I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeff, Jeremiah, and Sihlus, our Senior Producers Matt, Jeremy, and xEmeraldxwolfx, our Producers Kainsin, Danni, and Heather, and our Jr. Producers K-2SO, Irish Mt. Dragon, and BuffaloDom84. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.
Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.
NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
Next on The Krypt we are going to dive into personal evolution. In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.
Contact info:
Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.com / funsize@kuldrinskrypt.com
Fetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275
Fb: Kuldrin Fire
Twitter: @MasterKuldrin
Instagram: kuldrinfire
Patreon: kuldrinskrypt
Paypal: MasterKuldrin
http://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource
Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth
Contact us: 865-268-4005 or https://kudrinskrypt.com
Rules to Love by:
Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
Definitions
What is burnout? Regardless of your position in the lifestyle you can become burnt out. Burnout is often also called Dom fatigue, or sub fatigue, and thought of as an extended drop. Honestly though you can experience a form of this even without having a partner. It is simply the feeling that you’ve had too much of the lifestyle for a time and you cannot find the energy or zeal that you used to have regularly to continue. And it’s not just a feeling of oh I’m tired after this scene, it’s a deeper more resounding, I want nothing to do with this in my life right now feeling. So for those who are really committed to the lifestyle or a particular relationship the feeling can be devastating. I really always compare burnout in the lifestyle to that of the workplace, if you don’t take a vacation for a long time you can get burnt out and the same applies here.
How can the lifestyle make you jaded?
Run-ins with predators and fakes.
One run in can be detrimental but when you're trying to find the “one” it can be frustrating to the point of spiraling you into a sort of depressed state, which is a lot like burnout feels like.
Stress
Changes like a move, new job, or end/beginning of a relationship.
Of course, having a relationship end can be very mentally jarring and leave you feeling empty and exhausted. But, new relationships can also do this simply because of all the training and adjusting you may find yourself doing. Some people do of course experience frenzy at the start of a relationship but for others, it can be a very daunting thing. You spend so much time looking for the right person that when you find them, you can feel like you just don't have anything left to give.
Feeling stagnant.
Sometimes when you've been in a relationship for a while you can start feeling burnt out, the rush of those amazing new relationship drugs has worn off and you can find yourself in a rut. Or you might find yourself doing the same thing every day or every scene and wanting to push forward but just not having it in you to do so. This kind of stagnation can cause an extreme drop that just leaves you drained.
What to do when you notice this happening?
Turning to your support system
Taking a break
It's important to self-monitor and understand what you are going through. Don't just assume that you are experiencing drop because while you are, burnout runs so much deeper, and often last longer.
Communicate with those closest to you that you are taking a break in the interest of self-care, and clearly defined what you are stepping back from.
Taking a break doesn't mean that you are ending a relationship, it just means that you are doing what is necessary to keep the relationship going, and to make all aspects of your life better.
When taking a break in a committed relationship
Communication
If you're experiencing stagnation talk to your partner, you can often use this as a platform to change the way you play. Introduce new fantasies or even reintroduce old ones to create a new experience.
Finding yourself to ready to get back into the lifestyle
Bouncing back when you can
Self-monitor, you'll know when you feel ready to get back into the lifestyle.
Be aware that coming back from a break can spur you into a frenzied period.
A final note or two.
I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeff, Jeremiah, and Sihlus, our Senior Producers Matt, Jeremy, and xEmeraldxwolfx, our Producers Kainsin, Danni, and Heather, and our Jr. Producers K-2SO, Irish Mt. Dragon, and BuffaloDom84. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.
Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.
NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
Next on The Krypt we are going to dive into personal evolution. In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.
Contact info:
Email: Sir@kuldrinskrypt.com / funsize@kuldrinskrypt.com
Fetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275
Fb: Kuldrin Fire
Twitter: @MasterKuldrin
Instagram: kuldrinfire
Patreon: kuldrinskrypt
Paypal: MasterKuldrin
http://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource
Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth