69. Healthy Sex in Marriage with Mary Whitman Ortiz
Aug 4, 2022
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Mary Whitman Ortiz, Christian sex educator, discusses struggles in a Christian marriage, finding healing after divorce, and the importance of honor and self-value in a marriage. She shares personal stories about overcoming pain and embracing God's love. Connect with Mary Whitman Ortiz for more resources on healthy sex in Christian circles.
Self-value and trust are essential in a marriage to avoid emotional abuse and recognize one's worth.
Creating a fulfilling, intimate relationship in marriage involves open communication, self-value, and understanding the differences between men and women.
Deep dives
The Importance of Fun and Prioritizing It in Marriage
Fun is not frivolous in a marriage, but rather, it is a boost to energy and a future-focused activity that brings life. Couples should actively seek activities that they can enjoy together to strengthen their bond.
The Struggles of a Christian Marriage and the Impact on Sexuality
The speaker shares her personal experience of growing up in a Christian family with limited openness and communication about thoughts, feelings, and needs. She discusses the challenges she faced in her early Christian marriage, feeling that something was off in the sexual aspect, ultimately blaming herself. The revelation that her husband had a problem with porn after a decade of marriage led to her decision to divorce and embark on a healing journey.
Rediscovering God's Design for Sexuality in Marriage
Through personal healing and a new relationship, the speaker realized the importance of valuing oneself and recognizing that sexual intimacy in marriage is a reflection of God's covenant and design. She emphasizes the need for open communication, self-value, and understanding the differences between men and women to create a fulfilling, intimate relationship.
There isn’t enough lace on the planet to make up for low self-value and trust in the marriage. Have you ever felt like you were in the “dog house”? Mary Whitman Ortiz, MA, CLC is a Christian sex educator, relationship coach, author, and speaker. In this revealing episode, she talks about all the sexual things you maybe are afraid to talk about. She shares her testimony of being in a “Christian” marriage where she felt it was “her fault”, “she deserved it” and needed to give her husband more sex and more variety. As she learned there was a porn addiction, she was able to learn that it is a big deal, that the images are in your brain and that abstinence doesn’t equal deliverance. She realized that she wasn’t being honored and valued and she had fallen prey to emotional abuse. Most importantly, she learned that she wasn’t valuing herself and was blocking herself from God’s intent for marriage and healthy sexuality. As Mary went through a divorce and re-marriage, she was able to slowly heal many myths she had believed.
There is a mental YES that must happen before your body can engage in sex. We can’t just focus on the mechanics of sex. The most important thing for intimacy is self-value and self-awareness. Be inspired by Mary’s raw honesty and encouraging teaching about healthy sex in a marriage!