Now and Men Boys' Emotional Lives and the Centrality of Relationships to their Development - Dr Judy Y Chu
Sorry for the technical issues with this episode - we have re-released it and hopefully it should work fine now! Boys are often portrayed as incapable of or uninterested in developing emotionally close relationships. But Dr Judy Y Chu’s pioneering research shows that from a young age boys show significant relational capacities, such as empathy for others, emotional sensitivity, articulacy and attentiveness. In this episode, she describes the process of boys’ development, highlighting how, as they age, they come under pressure to conform to patriarchal norms of ‘being a man’. Despite the privileges that patriarchy confers, when pressured to ‘prove’ their masculinity by eschewing anything deemed feminine, adolescent boys learn to deny and devalue their emotional range and relational qualities. By hindering the emotionally close relationships they need to thrive, boys’ gender socialisation can make them more susceptible to psychological and social harms, such as mental health issues, alcohol and drug misuse, and violence. Responding to these issues and wider cultural pressures such as the Manosphere, Judy emphasises that we can support boys’ healthy development by normalising their capacity for emotionally close relations, promoting positive ways of being, and helping them to recognise and resist restrictive masculine norms.
Judy is an educator and researcher whose work examines boys’ gender socialisation, relationships, and development during early childhood and adolescence, drawing on her long-term collaboration with influential feminist psychologist Professor Carol Gilligan. She is the author of a book called ‘When Boys Become Boys’, and recently contributed a chapter on boys' social and emotional development to the ‘Oxford Handbook on Masculinities and Mental Health’.
For over 20 years, Judy taught a course on Boys' Psychosocial Development at Stanford University. She has served in advisory roles for non-profit organizations including Movember, Equimundo, Roots of Empathy, Build Up Boys, The Foundation for Positive Masculinity, and the American Psychological Association’s Task Force on Supporting Boys in Schools.
Episode timeline
- Intro (00:00-02:32)
- Boys’ relational capacities (02:32-04:32)
- How these start to be concealed (04:32-07:49)
- How hiding their emotional selves can impact boys and men (07:49-11:00)
- The consequences for their relationships (11:00-14:14)
- Possibilities for reconnection with these emotional capabilities (14:14-17:28)
- What adults can do to help boys resist restrictive masculine norms (17:28-21:47)
- Break (21:47-21:59)
- Judy’s methodological approach (21:59-27:42)
- Examples of boys’ resistance which have stayed with Judy (27:42-34:50)
- How the suppression of boys’ relationality can damage their self-esteem (34:50-39:57)
- What got Judy interested in feminist research with boys (39:57-47:24)
- How it affects her as a parent (47:24-51:46)
- How to respond to young men being drawn into the Manosphere (51:46-58:11)
- Conclusion (58:11-01:07:52)
More info
- Carol Gilligan
- Stuart Miller – Men and Friendship
- Terry Real
- Michael Resnick et al. – Protecting adolescents from harm
- Joseph Pleck – The Myth of Masculinity
- Erving Goffman
- Fred Rogers
- Won't You Be My Neighbor documentary
- A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood
- Marc Brackett – Permission to Feel
- Neil Postman – Amusing Ourselves to Death
- Shaun Candaran, Australian Childhood Foundation
- Frosh, Phoenix and Pattman – 'Young Masculinities'
Music: 'Now is time', courtesy of Chaps' Choir and Dom Stichbury. Please note that the transcript is a rough estimation and is likely to contain errors. Please do not reproduce it without permission.