UNC football has devolved into the biggest hot mess in college sports. Can we interest you in a hot mic? Because in order to understand the GOAT coach's inner circle in Chapel Hill, you really need to open the gift we've brought for Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne.

• Previously on PTFO: The Jordon Rules, The Belichick Ring Mystery, Solved

• Subscribe to "Casuals with Katie Nolan"

• Listen to "Sorry for Your Loss" by Michael Cruz Kayne

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Better Than Praying All Night