
Focus on the Family with Jim Daly Finding Hope in the Aftermath of Domestic Violence
Oct 16, 2025
Karen DeArmond Gardner, a trauma coach and author, bravely shares her journey from a 30-year abusive marriage to empowerment and advocacy for other survivors. She delves into the deceptive charm often displayed by abusers and explains why victims internalize blame. Karen highlights the critical differences between emotional abuse and difficult marriages, and emphasizes the importance of specialized help for survivors. Today, she supports others through her ministry, teaching them about healing and healthy love after trauma. Her insights inspire hope and resilience.
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Charming Courtship Hid Abuse
- Karen describes an over-the-top, charming courtship that hid his later abusive behavior.
- The charming facade gradually lifted into verbal and psychological abuse rather than immediate physical violence.
Abuse Warps Self Perception
- Abusers make victims internalize blame until they believe they're the problem.
- Karen says abusers exploit vulnerabilities and erode identity over time.
Avoid Joint Counseling In Abuse
- Avoid joint marriage counseling when abuse is present because abusers can manipulate the narrative.
- Seek individual or specialized domestic-abuse counseling instead.

