Ben and Mike gear up for the new season with a mix of excitement, dread and brutal honesty. They look back at the Essex Royal Tournament — a reminder of how far they’ve come since that nightmare first outing — and ask if this year’s squad can handle the jump to 7-a-side.

With nine players, equal game time and two new signings, the boys finally have the steel they’ve been missing. But will concentration lapses, emotional meltdowns and dodgy coaching hold them back?

The dads set targets for their kids, for the team and for themselves — from improving communication to not losing the plot when someone forgets their position (again). They also share listener stories about silent matches, dodgy refs and training disasters, proving once more that grassroots football is equal parts comedy, stress and joy.

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Are we really ready for the new season?