The Superpower of Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff

On today’s show, we have the pleasure of welcoming the woman who pioneered the field of self-compassion research over 20 years ago. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin’s Department of Educational Psychology.

Kristin explains how gender role socialization has led women to be self-sacrificing and men to suppress their tenderness, Kristin shares how it can benefit us, and everyone around us, to find a balance between the softer and more forceful sides of our nature, to treat ourselves with care, and to live our lives authentically.

She is not afraid of getting personal, and in this episode, Kristin opens up about some of the moments in her own life that have demonstrated the importance of self-compassion. We discuss how self-compassion relates to the MeToo movement, the value of anger, and how we can change the system while working within it.

We hope this episode is as enlightening and inspiring for you as it was for us. Your self-compassion is a superpower; don’t let it go to waste.

Here’s a peek at what else we discuss:

• Self-compassion; the field of research that Kristin pioneered
• Common perceptions of self-compassion, and why this isn’t the full picture.
• How gender role socialization creates gender differences with regard to self-compassion.
• How self-compassion helps us to be more compassionate towards others.
• The link between mindfulness and self-compassion.
• Constructive anger versus destructive anger.
• Ways to offset society’s distaste for women’s anger.
• Your goal should be about opening yourself up, not getting everything right.
• What is a “self-compassion break” (and why we should take these regularly)?

Resources

• Self Compassion by Kristin Neff
• Self Compassion Website
• Marvelous
• Marvelous on Instagram and Twitter

This week’s Joy: 

Kristin shares the joy of vaccination (and the bonus joy of having a teenager that can drive himself around).

This week’s Hustle: 

Kristin’s hustle is a practice she developed called a “self-compassion break,” which involves calling in the three components of compassion in an intentional way. First is mindfulness — being aware of what’s happening, being aware that you are hurting, that you are struggling, and kind of validating what you’re going through, then asking yourself what you need. Second is common humanity — remembering that you aren’t alone, that nothing is wrong with you, and that this is part of being human. Finally, kindness — asking yourself, “What would I say to a good friend I care about who’s going through the exact same situation that I’m going through?” and then saying that to yourself.

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