

Roxane Gay on the Myth of Civility
149 snips Oct 5, 2025
Roxane Gay, a New York Times bestselling author and cultural critic, dives into the complexities of civility in political discourse. She argues that calls for civility often serve to protect the privileged, contrasting it with the urgency of incivility in advocating for accountability. Roxane examines the dangers of the manosphere and emphasizes the need for men to hold each other accountable. She discusses the ongoing importance of feminism and warns about disinformation and authoritarianism in the U.S., advocating for bolder political action to effect change.
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Civility As A Privilege Preserver
- "Civility" often means asking oppressed people to quiet their anger and not make others feel uncomfortable.
- Roxane Gay argues this demand is a weapon that preserves privilege and blocks honest dialogue.
Accountability Isn’t Violence
- Gay says opponents who call accountability "violence" reveal they confuse truth with harm.
- Refusing civility doesn't equate to endorsing physical violence but to refusing to submit quietly.
Civil Rights: Multiple Strategies Worked
- Gay recounts civil rights history to show multiple strategies mattered, including armed self-defense by Black Southerners.
- She admires nonviolence but insists self-defense was a necessary part of survival for many.