Dr. Richard Boothby invites Mari Ruti and Alain Badiou to discuss Freud and Lacan's views on love. They explore narcissism in relationships, the processes of mourning and melancholia, and the interplay of love and narcissism. They also delve into Freud's death drive and its connection to love, as well as Lacan's concept of Dostin. Lastly, they explore love as a transformative experience and Badu's ontological challenge of love.
Love involves encountering the unknown in the other person and serves as an opportunity for growth and transformation.
Polyamory may pose challenges to achieving the deep engagement with the unconscious required for valuable love relationships.
Deep dives
Love as a Challenge to the Ego
Love, according to Lacan and Badu, is not about bolstering our ego or finding a reflection of ourselves in the other. It goes beyond narcissism and involves encountering the unknown in the other person. Falling in love means being drawn to something you don't fully understand or control, a mysterious element that exists in the unconscious. This kind of love is not about two egos fusing into one, but about two individuals coming together while remaining separate. It challenges us to confront repressed aspects of ourselves and serves as an opportunity for growth and transformation. It may not always be easy, but it can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and a more authentic connection with another person.
Polyamory and the Challenge of Love
Polyamory, a practice involving multiple loving relationships, raises interesting questions in light of Lacan and Badu's understanding of love. While it is important to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to love, and there may be instances where polyamory can be meaningful and fulfilling, it is worth noting the cautionary aspects of their perspectives. According to Badu and Lacan, the most valuable love relationships are characterized by the challenge and tension that come from encountering the unknown in the other. This may be more difficult to achieve in polyamorous relationships, as it requires deep engagement with the unconscious and a willingness to confront and grow beyond ego-driven identities. While polyamory can offer unique opportunities for connection, it is important to approach it with a keen awareness of the potential challenges and demands it may present.
Rick Boothby and I discuss his piece exploring the differences between Freud and Lacan on the subject of love. We bring in Mari Ruti and Alain Badiou as well.
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