On the Merits of Not Letting the Past Stay in the Past, featuring Susan Lieu
Jan 13, 2025
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Susan Lieu, a multi-hyphenate storyteller and author of *The Manicurist’s Daughter*, shares her journey of exploring grief and trauma through memoir writing. She discusses how her mother’s death influenced her narrative and the complexities of family silence. Lieu dives into the emotional dynamics of love and loss within cultural contexts, particularly from a Vietnamese perspective. She emphasizes the transformative power of confronting painful experiences and how embracing uncertainty can lead to personal growth and deeper understanding.
Susan Lieu's journey illustrates how engaging with painful memories can lead to personal healing and a deeper understanding of family dynamics.
The podcast emphasizes the detrimental effects of familial silence on processing trauma, urging writers to confront and share their experiences for healing.
Deep dives
Navigating the Past and Trauma in Memoir
The discussion revolves around how memoirists and novelists often grapple with their pasts, particularly when faced with loss and trauma. The guests reflect on Susan Liu's memoir, 'The Manicurist's Daughter,' which details her experience after losing her mother at a young age due to a botched plastic surgery. This profound loss left emotional scars that shaped her identity and storytelling, prompting her to explore the reasons some individuals can move on while others remain entrenched in their pasts. The conversation highlights the idea that writers often have an intrinsic need to excavate their histories to find meaning and create narratives that resonate with universal themes of grief and memory.
Family Dynamics and Silence
A pivotal theme in the podcast is the struggle against familial silence surrounding trauma, as illustrated by Susan Liu's experience of losing her mother and the subsequent lack of conversation about her death. This silence not only intensified Susan's grief but also fostered a sense of isolation, as her family members avoided discussing the topic, labeling her sensitivity as emotional excess. The narrative emphasizes that such silences can become a form of collective trauma, hindering the healing process for those left behind. This dynamic is a common experience for many writers, encouraging them to confront uncomfortable truths in order to acknowledge and process their pain.
The Role of Identity in Storytelling
The podcast touches upon how identity shapes a writer's voice and the stories they choose to tell, particularly those dealing with intergenerational trauma and cultural expectations. Susan Liu's multifaceted identity as a writer and daughter allows her to address complex issues like body image, cultural expectations, and mental health stigma within her work. The conversation refers to how these themes resonate on broader levels, illustrating the relationships between personal stories and collective cultural narratives. This intersectionality highlights the importance of understanding one's background and experiences in crafting authentic and impactful memoirs.
The Healing Power of Writing
The podcast emphasizes writing as a therapeutic and transformative process for confrontational engagement with one’s past. Susan Liu's journey showcased the evolution from a thirst for revenge against the negligent doctor to a more profound understanding of her family dynamics and personal identity. The dialogue illustrates that through storytelling, writers can better comprehend their grief, potentially leading to healing and closure. Furthermore, the guests encourage aspiring memoirists to embrace their stories wholeheartedly, as sharing experiences can initiate important conversations and foster connections despite familial pushback.
This week we touch upon the struggle that presents itself for memoirists who can’t or won’t let the past stay in the past, especially when other people wish you would. Guest Susan Lieu shares powerfully in this week’s show about how her mother became the central force and inspiration for her work after she died due to complications from a tummy tuck. In the process of writing about her mother and making sense of what happened, Susan discovered so much about her family’s silence, their trauma, and about her living parent—her father. If you are looking for a case study for how memoir heals and reveals, don’t miss this episode.