Living with Untreated Depression: How Stigma Delays Recovery and Fuels Self-Medication

In this episode of Giving Voice to Depression, John shares what it’s like to live with untreated depression for decades, held back by stigma, fear of judgment, and the belief that asking for help was a sign of weakness.

He describes depression as “an attack in your own voice”—a relentless inner monologue that erases self-worth and fuels despair. His story illustrates how stigma not only delays treatment but also drives harmful coping mechanisms like alcohol use.

Now, after finally seeking support in midlife, John reflects on what recovery looks like, why connection is vital, and how hearing other people’s mental health stories inspired him to speak out.

This intimate conversation is for anyone who has ever felt silenced by stigma or struggled to explain what depression really feels like.

Link to Jon's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxlVwfFkjH7dE-uz3_Q5WmQ/featured

Link to Jon's website: https://cleaningwarrior.com/

Primary Topics Covered:

• The impact of stigma on seeking depression treatment
• First experiences with depression as a teenager
• How self-medication with alcohol worsened symptoms
• Struggles and confusion with antidepressant use
• What depression “feels like” in real lived experience
• The metaphor of “an attack in your own voice”
• The importance of hearing and sharing personal stories
• Finding hope and reassurance that dark times don’t last forever

Timestamps:

00:00 – Partnership announcement with Mental Health America Wisconsin
 01:10 – Introducing John and why he chose to share his story
 01:52 – First experience with depression as a teenager
 03:06 – Living decades without professional treatment
 03:44 – Turning to alcohol as self-medication
 04:20 – Why stigma made seeking help feel like failure
 05:05 – Starting antidepressants after many years
 06:22 – The uncertainty of long-term medication use
 06:56 – John describes depression as “an attack in my own voice”
 08:27 – The relentless, self-erasing inner dialogue of depression
 09:32 – Metaphor of a “spreadsheet of self-worth”
 10:42 – Why hearing others’ stories made John feel less alone
 11:39 – A message of hope for listeners in the darkest moments
 12:33 – Reflection on stigma, recovery, and speaking out
 13:22 – John’s YouTube channel “Cleaning Warrior” and resources
 13:41 – Closing gratitude and continued mission of the podcast

Explore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.com
Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/
Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/