In today’s episode, we cover the science of competition with Ashley Merryman. Ashley is the Non-Resident Senior Fellow for the Joint Special Operations University and author of Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing.

Competition can be healthy and unhealthy, so how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition, what are the differences between how introverts and extroverts handle competition, and how does gender play a role in competition?

What to Listen For

Introduction – 0:00
What are the biggest myths surrounding competition and trying to be number one?
What are the benefits of competition?
Healthy vs Unhealthy Competition – 9:00
What is the difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition?
Where does the fear of failure come from?
Overcome Fear of Failure – 15:30
What is the difference between a challenge and a threat and how can one lead you to failure while the other leads to success?
What can you do to overcome the fear of failure when you know people are watching you?
Don’t Think About Pink Elephants – 29:40
What can you do to start being competitive again after a severe loss?
What are the differences between men and women when it comes to competition and competitive environments?
What role does gender play in competition?
Introverts vs Extroverts in Competition – 56:20
Why do introverts and extroverts approach competition differently and how can you use that knowledge to improve your ability to compete whether you are an introvert or extrovert?

Competition can be a powerful motivator, but it’s important to make sure that you are using it in a healthy way. When competition becomes destructive and fear-based, it ruins our relationships and keeps us from achieving our goals. By understanding your own tendencies and working on overcoming your fears, you can learn to use competition in a positive way that unlocks your full potential.

A Word From Our Sponsors

Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.

Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!

Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!

Resources from this Episode

Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Ashley Merryman
Ashley Merryman’s website
Ashley Merryman on Twitter

Check in with AJ and Johnny!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

S4 E02: Responsible Assessments (feat. John Kessler)