423 - 3 Reasons Why Trying to Calm Down is Keeping You Stressed

Free Somatic Workshop Jan. 8 & 9, 2026 -  >> REGISTER HERE <<

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If you’ve ever told yourself to “just calm down” — and felt even more stressed afterward — there’s a reason for that.

Most high-achieving women are trying to regulate stress from the top down: thinking their way into calm, forcing stillness, or pushing their body to quiet before it’s ready. 

And while that approach sounds logical, it often backfires.

In this episode, I’m unpacking why trying to calm down can actually increase stress, how your nervous system interprets those efforts, and what works instead when your body is in fight-or-flight.

This conversation reframes calm not as something you force, but something that emerges when the right physiological conditions are present.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why “calm down” often becomes a form of suppression, not regulation
• How effort, control, and “doing it right” keep the stress response turned on
• Why your nervous system responds to signals — not self-talk or logic
• What actually allows the body to downshift and settle when it’s activated

If you’ve been doing the breathing, the mindset work, and the meditation — and still feel keyed up or exhausted — this episode will help you understand why, and what your body has been asking for instead.

And if you’re ready to stop managing stress and start experiencing real nervous system regulation, I’m hosting Experience the Shift on January 8th and 9th — a live, experiential event designed to help your body feel safe enough to actually calm.

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Free Somatic Workshop - Experience the Shift >> REGISTER HERE <<