Brad Wilcox, author of 'Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization', discusses the role of churches in reinforcing family values, the impact of government policies on marriage, the influence of technology and club sports on families, and the positive effects of church involvement on relationships.
Religious attendance can significantly reduce the risk of divorce by up to 50%, highlighting the importance of shared faith in marriage.
The decline in marriage rates and birthrate in America has significant consequences for the future of civilization, emphasizing the need for more successful marriages.
The shift towards valuing extrinsic values like money and job over intrinsic values like family and community has impacted relationship dynamics and the importance of marriage.
Deep dives
Marriage and happiness
Compared to Americans who don't attend church, religiously observant individuals tend to report higher levels of happiness, less loneliness, and greater satisfaction and meaning in life. Shared faith is shown to be a crucial factor in the quality of a marriage, even more so than education, income, or political ideology. Divorce rates have increased since the 1970s with the introduction of the soulmate model of marriage, but religious attendance can reduce the risk of divorce by up to 50%. Women often find greater happiness in family responsibilities compared to prioritizing work and freedom. Churches play a valuable role in reinforcing the importance of marriage and family through sermons, homilies, and messages on virtues like forgiveness and fidelity.
The decline of marriage
Less than half of adults in America are currently married, and the birthrate has reached its lowest point, resulting in 7 million fewer babies since the Great Recession. The decline in marriage is a significant societal shift with consequences for the future of civilization. Brad Wilcox, a sociologist, argues that the future of our civilization depends on the success of the fundamental social institution of marriage. He highlights the importance of more Americans succeeding in marriage, as it impacts trust, loneliness, and economic inequality. Traditional ideals of marriage have been challenged by a materialistic mindset propagated through media and social media, diminishing the importance of friendship and family in favor of individual pursuits and personal branding.
The shift in values
There has been a generational shift towards valuing extrinsic values like money and job over intrinsic values like family and community. This shift coincides with societal changes that have made it harder for men, particularly those in the working class, to provide and be attractive as potential partners. Technology, in the form of smartphones and gaming devices, has also contributed to a decline in commitment to work and a focus on materialistic pursuits. The meritocratic culture and emphasis on financial independence have also impacted relationship dynamics, reinforcing the importance of education, work, and money over friendship and family as key life goals.
The impact of marriage on society
Marriage is crucial for societal well-being and addressing social justice issues. Strong marriages lead to happier and more stable lives, better sex lives, and higher marital satisfaction. The decline in marriage rates is connected to various negative social outcomes, such as decreased mobility for poor children, growing racial inequality, and falling rates of happiness in America. Marriage profoundly affects poverty, school dropouts, violence, and incarceration, making it a vital focus for government policies and social interventions. Churches have a significant role to play in reinforcing the virtues and values that foster strong marriages and families.
Recommendations for churches
Churches should be intentional about addressing marriage and family issues. Pastors should acknowledge the challenges and joys of marriage and family life, providing support and guidance to individuals and couples. Pre-marital counseling and regular retreats for married couples can help prepare and strengthen relationships. Churches should also be mindful of including singles in their community, organizing social events and incorporating them into family and social life. The church's role is to provide a balanced approach, recognizing the importance of both marriage and singleness, while offering practical advice and creating opportunities for individuals to meet potential partners.
In this episode of Gospelbound, Collin Hansen and Brad Wilcox discuss Wilcox's new book, Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization. They delve into the topic of the role of churches in reinforcing the values and virtues of good families, the modern priority on money and free time, and the two-parent privilege, among other subjects.
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