Deborah discovered they were autistic in their 60s, after a lifetime of not fitting in anywhere. Their sense of difference was not just social, but physical, as in their teens they were diagnosed with CAUV – congenital absence of uterus and vagina. Because of their then-undiagnosed autism, Deborah says they “always felt different anyway – I wasn't upset when I was diagnosed [with CAUV]; I thought it just made me extra-different.” They have come to understand their condition as intersex and to identify as autigender.

Deborah is originally from the US, but has spent the last thirty years in Ireland, where they live with their husband. Deborah is an artist and writer, participating in worldwide exhibitions, writing short fiction collections and publishing anthologies of other writers. Deborah says: “Art is my world. It is my way of processing, regulating and making sense of life. I can't go a day without being in my studio.”

In this conversation Deborah shares their journey of self-discovery and their lifelong experiences of feeling different and not fitting in. We talk about their childhood as an introspective, creative child, and the discovery of their congenital absence of a uterus and vagina (CAUV) at 16, their subsequent surgery and their exploration of gender identity as an intersex autistic person.

Deborah shares their path to self-acceptance and how understanding their autism has enabled them to reshape their self-perception.

Squarepeg is a podcast in which I talk to other late identified autistic women and nonbinary people about their lives, their autism journeys, and what they’ve learned along the way. I’m Amy Richards, and I was diagnosed autistic in 2016, when I was 37. I’ve been sharing my conversations with other autistic adults since 2020. I hope you’ll find these conversations inspiring and thought provoking, and that they’ll help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.

➡️LISTEN AD-FREE WHEN YOU BECOME A PATREON SUPPORTERhttps://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast

Episode links:

Website: https://deaborahrise.com/

If you'd like to connect with me, get in touch or follow Squarepeg, you can find me on:

Website: https://squarepeg.community/

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/

THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!

A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:

Abi Hunter, Alex, Alex Lee, Alice Kemp, Amy Adler, Anika Lacerte, Anna Grojec, Annette, Annie, Anya Nebl, Aubrey Brand, B Martinez, Barbara, Basia, Becca Lee, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Beth Kelly Herbert, Caprice, Caroline, Cat Preston, Catherine, Catherine Paul, Cathy Oliver, C B, Charlotte Keen, Claire Gerard, Corinne Cariad, Corrine L. McDermid, Dana, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Danielle Wrench, Daphna Epstein, Deanna M. Counts Goldy, Deborah Cullinan, Dennis McNulty, E, Em, Emma Franks, Erica Kenworthy, Erin Mazow, Evgeniia Pupysheva, Ewan McNeill, Frederike, Galina, George Cole, H Arena, Hannah Breslin, Heather Peake, Helen Anne Hooker, Helen Delaney, Helen White, Holly Knight-Smith, India, Jackie Allen, Jaqueline Coursey, Jayne Hutchinson, Jenn W, Jo, Joanna McKnight, Julie, Julie Gillespie, Karen, Karin Parker, KatF, Kate and Kathryn, Katharine Richards, Katherine, Katherine Lowney, Katherine Meizel, Ken K, Kim Mortstock, Laura, Laura, Laurin Aman, Leisa Reichelt, Lilli Simmons, Lisa, Lisa Joy Powley, Lisa Williams, Liz, Lizzie, Lula Cork, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martha Everett, Meg c, MelissaS, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, Mindy Wigzell, Monica Toohey, NC, Nicola Neil, Pete Burke, Rebecca, Rebecca Biegel, Sadie Slater, Sandra Chapman, Sandy Klarsten, Sandy Ladkin, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Jeffrey, Sarah LW, Sarah Musgrave, Sarah Raine, Seth Williams, Shauna Schramke, Shelia Smith, Sophie King, Stefan Mundt, Talia's Nature,Tamsen Staniford, Tris, Vicki Temple, Victoria Jeffrey and Zans McLachlan.

If you’re enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast

Song of the Grass Roof Hermitage — Silver Dragon Sesshin