90 | Raising Kids Who Change The World (Mark Foreman)

Oct 6, 2019

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About Mark Foreman:

Mark Foreman lives in the San Diego area and is the lead pastor of North Coast Calvary Chapel. The question Mark and his wife Jan Foreman are most often asked is: How did you raise your kids? Never Say No takes you on a personal journey to learn first-hand how they raised Jon and Tim of Switchfoot. Mark’s been married to Jan, his “best friend and favorite Bible teacher,” for over 46 years. Together they love surfing, sailing, travel and especially being with their family.

Conversation Notes:

3:00 - “You are the same today as you’ll be in five years except for two things the books you read and the people you meet” Charlie “tremendous” Jones
3:45 - Mark introduces himself
4:50 - Bring your kids along for the adventure. Authenticity is an important ingredient.
5:40 - Agreement with their sons that they can all talk about anything they want. All topics are fair game because Jesus touches everything
6:30 - Surfing/Fatherhood comparison
7:15 - We must isolate the different variables of fatherhood and isolate some of them and then work on the variables that you really want to change
8:40 - "If you win 5000 people to Christ and you lose your own son, how does that feel?"
9:40 - The mistake of carrying around the wooden spoon and taking on the rigid disciplinarian role
10:50 - The importance of filling our kids love tanks
11:00 - "Time, Touch and Eye Contact" and the importance of wrestling
12:20 - The importance of listening and letting your kids dream
12:35 - "I Enjoy You" and the power of these words and the wonder it brings to children to hear them
12:05 - The surprising fact that a lot of people don't "like" their children
13:45 - The more time we spend with our kids, the more we enjoy them. We tend to like the things that we invest in
14:00 - It starts with understanding that God enjoys me
16:25 - book The Second Mountain (David Brooks) // We must go through a valley of pain before we can move to the 2nd mountain of serving and living for others
19:00 - Overview of the book Never Say No
20:30 - Process of thinking backwards and working backwards... What are we hoping for when our kids launch from the home at 18 years old?
21:10 - Most parents primary goal is safety. Most are scared to death of their kids getting hurt by the jungle of this world
21:40 - "Raising kids who own the jungle. Raise kids who change the world rather than run from the world"
22:25 - Raising artists. Every kid is raised in the image of God. He's a creator. He's the greatest artist.
23:30 - "Wonder happens when we get closer to God"... Humility and serving others also comes when we get closer to God.
24:15 - Reading books that stir up wonder
25:45 - Am I accidentally cutting the wings of my kids wonder and creativity
26:38 - Book Quote: "“How do I feel about God? Am I satisfied? Comfortable? Cynical? Disappointed? Indifferent? Am I on fire? That torch in my hand will be passed to my children more substantially than any religious education. If I want my children to grow spiritually, I must stay alive."
28:40 - It must be in me before I can hope something is in my kids.
29:00 - Mark's sons seeing him spending time reading his Bible
30:30 - "We are the caretakers of our kids hearts"
32:15 - "We're launching our kids from the moment they're born if we really believe we are raising kids that will change the world"
34:00 - Entire dadAWESOME episode on the book Never Say No with Ross Manders: https://dadawesome.org/episode48/
34:20 - Slow down
35:30 - Mark's prayer for us fathers.

Links:

Never Say No (Mark and Jan Foreman)
Switchfoot (his sons band)
Mark's church
Mark on Twitter