The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast CNLP 775 | When Church Members Break Your Heart and Your Trust: Sharon Hodde Miller on Resilience and Speaking Into the Culture
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Dec 23, 2025 Sharon Hodde Miller, lead pastor and author on resilience, shares her journey in ministry, grappling with idealism crushed by relational wounds and turnover. She discusses how consumerism impacts church relationships and the importance of clarifying values post-pandemic. Sharon emphasizes setting healthy boundaries for pastors, adjusting expectations after disappointment, and the necessity of personal forgiveness practices. She advocates for humility in online engagement, protecting the dignity of every individual, while encouraging young leaders to balance capacity and tenacity.
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Consumer Mindset Infiltrates Church
- Consumerism has infiltrated the church, making congregations treat pastors and programs like products to be chosen or discarded.
- Sharon Hodde Miller says this turnover and relational loss is a central source of pastoral pain and burnout.
Church Plant Identity Tested In 2020
- Sharon recounts leading a church plant through the pandemic with high turnover and identity clarification as an 18-month-old church.
- That season forced them to name core values and accept painful departures as part of forming their identity.
Practice Daily Forgiveness
- Develop a regular forgiveness practice to metabolize wounds so they don't eat you from the inside out.
- End your day reviewing it with gratitude and hand hurts to Jesus so relational pain doesn't calcify into bitterness.
