My guest this week is holistic executive coach Doug Holt. It was Doug’s second time on the podcast (the previous episode is here) and another great discussion. This time we focused on the marriage relationship—especially when you fear that you married the wrong person. Our discussion focused mostly on male-female couples, but many of the things we talked about are relevant for all committed partnerships.

Topics we discussed included:

What leads people to think they married the wrong person
Feeling like one is married to a “roommate with a ring”
Blaming one’s partner for marital disconnect
Focusing on the person you can control, vs. the other person
The disconnect between one’s reception in the wider world and at home
The common isolation from a brotherhood that many men experience
Looking to one’s partner to fulfill all of one’s needs
The book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover
Putting our validation for our self-worth on our partner
Doubling down on relationship behaviors that aren’t working
The turn-off of needy energy
The downsides of interacting in a transactional way with one’s partner
Asking one’s partner about how much their relationship needs are being met
Choosing a spouse that is perfectly positioned to challenge us and push our buttons
Taking marital challenges as feedback and opportunities for growth
Self-betterment as a no-lose option
Time and money as indicators of one’s values
The very rough patch that Doug went through in his marriage
Working with parents to improve kids’ lives
What it means to be a “powerful man”

Doug Holt has been changing lives through his coaching for nearly 30 years.

He owns several successful companies and specializes in helping men (especially business owners) to grow their businesses, strengthen their relationships, and design the life they want to live.

Doug lives with his wife and two kids in Oregon.

Learn more about Doug and his work at his website.

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