Are you familiar with Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's classic book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk"? You should be. It's not just for parents. The ideas in this book and in their other books should be required reading for all of us, but especially for parents, therapists and anyone interested in what we can do to better communicate with each other. I think you will be as charmed as I was listening to Adele and I encourage you to listen to part 2 of this interview (to be released in about a week).
The Faber Mazlish Website
Parent Wonder - good site with a summary of Faber/Mazlish ideas
Psychology in Everyday Life: The Psych Files