Decoder Ring | “Videomate: Men” (Encore)

Dec 3, 2025

Steve Dorman, the creator and president of VideoMate in the 1980s, dives into the quirky world of video dating. He shares the vision behind VideoMate: Men, a VHS tape featuring single gentlemen pitching themselves as ideal dates. The conversation explores the bizarre cultural moment video dating represented and why it ultimately flopped. Dorman sheds light on the challenges of the era, from production costs to awkward matchmaking, while examining how modern dating apps continue to grapple with the same vulnerabilities that video dating exposed.

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ANECDOTE

VHS Tape That Promised Love On TV

VideoMate Men sold as a VHS in 1987 featured 60 single men pitching themselves on tape and promised, “The love of your life could be on your TV tonight!”
The tape included earnest, ridiculous, and theatrical pitches like a man dressed as a Viking, capturing a quirky time capsule of video dating culture.

ANECDOTE

Creator’s Rapid Rise And Early Success

Steve Dorman ran auditions, filmed participants, and released VideoMate Men and Women in 1987 after interviewing hundreds of people.
Within months three women got engaged and the tapes sold thousands before the business faltered.

INSIGHT

Commitment Made Video Dating Work

Great Expectations invented video dating as a paid, membership-driven service that emphasized exclusivity and commitment.
Its high cost and staff curation generated motivation and real matches, showing that investment and gatekeeping can make dating services work.

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Videomate: Men was a VHS tape released in 1987 featuring 60 single men pitching themselves as dates to women on the other side of the TV screen: “The love of your life could be on your TV tonight!” the box reads. In retrospect, Videomate: Men is a bizarre and hilarious time capsule, but at the time it was one of many manifestations of what was known as video dating. To find out how anyone thought this was a good idea, Decoder Ring examines the weird and forgotten world of video dating in the 1970s, ’80s, and ’90s to find out why video dating once seemed like the future—and if that future is still yet to come.

On this episode, originally released in 2019, we talk to the creators of the Found Footage Fest, VHS collectors who unleashed Videomate on the internet; ask the creators of video dating services like Videomate’s Steve Dworman and Great Expectations’ Jeffrey Ullman what they were thinking; and talk to participants who used these services but not necessarily in the way that was intended. We’ll also discuss the future of video dating with Coffee Meets Bagel co-founder Dawoon Kang and former host of The Longest Shortest Time Andrea Silenzi.

This episode was written by Willa Paskin and was produced and edited by Benjamin Frisch. We had research assistance from Cleo Levin. Decoder Ring is produced by Katie Shepherd, Max Freedman, and Evan Chung, our supervising producer. Merritt Jacob is Senior Technical Director.

If you have any cultural mysteries you want us to decode, email us at DecoderRing@slate.com, or leave a message on the Decoder Ring hotline at 347-460-7281. We love to hear any and all of your ideas for the show.

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