Why do we keep having the same argument? Dial Emma: What am I Missing?

Hello lovely listeners and welcome to Dial Emma: What am I Missing?

There are some relationship questions that get typed into Google more than almost any other - often late at night, often after a hard conversation or moment of disappointment.

Why do we keep having the same argument?

I've asked it myself. Most of us have. And after years of sitting across from couples and individuals in the therapy room, I've noticed something: people often walk in asking one question, and walk out realising they needed to ask a different one entirely.

That's the idea behind this new season of Dial Emma, named after my second book, What Am I Missing? The book grew out of watching clients circle the same obstacles, the same patterns, the same kinds of people, again and again, until they'd finally say: I don't get it. There must be something here I'm not seeing. This season asks that same question of the internet's biggest relationship dilemmas, one a week, each one run through a therapeutic lens.

This week's dilemma: Our listener has been with her partner for eleven years. Two young kids, no huge rows - but the same disagreement every week. She carries the mental load, and he's stopped offering to help because he "can't win." Suddenly, they're no longer arguing about housework, but questioning whether the other person cares.

Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.

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