Living With Persistent Depression: Lori’s Story of Daily Struggles and Survival

What does it feel like to live with depression every single day—for years?

In this deeply honest episode, Lori shares what it’s like to live with persistent depressive disorder (PDD), sometimes called dysthymia or chronic depression. Unlike major depressive episodes that come and go, Lori describes the exhausting reality of functioning at only “60%” most days—and the terrifying nearness of relapse when even small setbacks pull her closer to the bottom.

She uses vivid metaphors—living “underwater,” hearing life “muffled,” and waking up each day feeling weighed down by a beanbag full of blood—to describe what PDD feels like from the inside. Lori also shares about passive suicidal thoughts, the risk of living flat and joyless, and why support often requires listening rather than “fixing.”

Clinical psychologist Dr. Anita Sands joins co-host Terry to contextualize Lori’s story, emphasizing that persistent depression is real, chronic, and not the result of personal failure. They discuss how to support loved ones without minimizing their struggle, why curiosity may be more realistic than hope, and why staying—just one more day—matters.

This is the first in a two-part series. In next week’s episode, Lori shares what happened after attending a treatment program that shifted her perspective and gave her new tools for living.

More info on dysthymia: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/dysthymia

Primary Topics Covered:

• The difference between major depression and persistent depressive disorder
• Lori’s experience of living at “60%” and why it feels dangerous
• Powerful metaphors: underwater, muffled joy, and flatness
• The exhausting reality of waking each day wishing not to wake
• Understanding passive suicidal ideation
• Why “fix it” advice often causes more harm than good
• How to better support someone with chronic depression
• Dr. Sands on why PDD is its own diagnosis—not a failure of treatment
• The importance of staying present and curious, even when hope feels impossible

Timestamps

00:11 Introduction to episode and hosts
 01:10 Defining persistent depressive disorder (PDD/dysthymia)
 02:04 Distinction between chronic and major depression
 02:53 Lori’s description of major depression vs. chronic depression
 04:08 Living at “60%” and the risks of relapse
 06:04 Lori’s underwater metaphor for muffled life and joy
 07:28 The flatness of chronic depression and masking symptoms
 09:20 Struggling with mornings and passive suicidal thoughts
 11:08 Wishing not to wake but lacking active suicidal intent
 12:03 The exhaustion of even pleasant activities
 13:21 Why “fix it” advice is unhelpful
 14:12 Examples of dismissive or harmful responses Lori has received
 15:27 What true validation and endurance look like
 16:32 Dr. Sands contextualizes PDD as a real chronic illness
 19:55 Introducing next week’s follow-up episode after treatment
 21:05 Dr. Sands on why curiosity can be more realistic than hope
 23:34 Closing reflections and resources

Explore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.com
Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/GivingVoiceToDepression/
Terry's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/givingvoicetodepression/