Risen Motherhood How Discipline Helps Us Communicate the Gospel | Ep. 57
Before we've even grown comfortable in the role of motherhood, it starts...the fall-to-the-floor tantrums, the food throwing, the back-talking, the hitting, and even the selective hearing. Suddenly, we're faced with the the reality that our children are sinners, and moreso, that God has given us the authority to do something about it! With a sea of opinions and resources, it's easy to just feel paralyzed. In this episode, Emily and Laura give an overview of discipline in the early years, especially focusing on using it as a tool to communicate the gospel. Discipline will play out differently in each family, but the goal is the same: pointing our sinful children to their desperate need for the perfect Savior.
Resources:
Although neither of us follow, subscribe to, or endorse one particular book or method of discipline, we still wanted to share some resources we've learned from (in different ways). Please see this not as the "perfect" list for discipline resources, but as a place to begin your own prayerful research and learning!
- Shepherding a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
- Give Them Grace - Elyse Fitzpatrick, Jessica Thompson
- Grace Based Discipline - Karis Kimmel Murray
- How Does Scripture Teach Us to Discipline Our Kids? - Roundtable TGC discussion
- Parenting A Difficult Child - Julie Lowe
- We've both learned a lot of practical insight from Jess Connell's blog - she's so candid and gives straightforward techniques to try, so search her archives. Here are some good ones to start with:
- Why Require Unregenerate Children to Act Like They're Good? - John Piper
- Parents, Require Obedience of Your Children - John Piper
- Why We Don't Punish Our Kids - Sara Wallace
- Give Them Grace (book review) - Bob Kellemen
- Helping Children Discover Heart Idols - Tedd Tripp
- My Child's Greatest Need - Paul Tripp
- When You Don't Know How to Discipline - Emily Jensen
- 10 Promises for Parents - Kevin DeYoung
- Why Kids Ask Why (and How to Respond Lovingly) - Jen Wilkin
- Defining Discipline: Hebrews 12:3-11 (ESV)
- Practical Takeaways for Each Section of the Gospel Mentioned:
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- Establish clear expectations according to God's word, and train the child to respond to those expectations. Practice immediate obedience when they are young with early commands like, "Come" or "Stop" in a low-stakes environment.
- When children fail obey at an age-appropriate level (and they will!), provide consistent, loving discipline (not in anger or with a desire to punish/shame). This might be things like: time-out, natural consequences, loss of privilege, verbal rebuke, spanking, etc.
- As the Holy Spirit leads, use discipline as a teachable moment to point the child to their need for a Savior. Pray together, hug, and always remember to reconcile after discipline -- forgiving them and keeping short accounts.
- Train your children in righteousness by encouraging them, practicing "doing what is right" in a low-stakes environment, and equipping them in everyday situations. See discipline in the context of disciple-making, and give your children the bigger picture: they are an image-bearer of God, created for relationship with Him for His glory.
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