391: Parenting a Child with ADHD: How to Stay Calm and Connected // Rachel on The Childhood Collective
Sep 23, 2024
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Navigating the ups and downs of parenting a child with ADHD can be quite the adventure. Learn essential strategies to foster understanding and emotional regulation in your child. Discover the importance of asynchronous development and how it shapes behavior. Get practical tips on empowering your child through the use of declarative language and journaling 'golden moments' for gratitude. This insightful discussion encourages parents to cherish the positive amidst the challenges, creating deeper connections with their spirited kids.
33:51
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Quick takeaways
Recognizing ADHD as a legitimate disability fosters compassion and understanding, leading to a more supportive environment for children with unique challenges.
Parents can enhance their child's independence and executive functioning by openly sharing problem-solving strategies and gradually transferring responsibilities.
Deep dives
Understanding ADHD as a Disability
ADHD should be recognized as a legitimate disability, which can help parents approach their child's behavior with greater compassion. Acknowledging this allows parents to understand that children with ADHD may not meet the same expectations as neurotypical peers. For instance, a child's social and emotional development may be around 30% behind their actual age, meaning reactions to situations may be age-inappropriate. This perspective fosters patience and a supportive environment, making it easier for parents to advocate for their children's needs.
Modeling Executive Functioning Skills
Parents can enhance their child's executive functioning skills by narrating their own strategies and decisions out loud. This approach helps children learn how to manage their own responsibilities in a supportive environment. For example, a parent might tell their child about setting a timer to remember tasks, making the child feel like they are part of a team working together on everyday challenges. By openly sharing these techniques, parents not only validate their child's experiences but also equip them with tools they can apply in their own lives.
Finding the Good in Challenging Times
It is essential for parents to actively seek and acknowledge the positive aspects of their child's behavior, particularly during difficult periods. Practicing gratitude through journaling can significantly shift a parent's mindset from focusing solely on challenges to recognizing small, joyful moments. This process can help reframe the parent-child relationship, creating a positive feedback loop that enhances connection and trust. By documenting these 'flecks of gold,' parents are reminded of the joy in parenting, even amidst the difficulties.
Encouraging Independence and Responsibility
As children grow, it's important for parents to gradually transfer responsibility for managing their tasks and challenges to them. This involves guiding children to develop their own strategies and solutions for effectively handling everyday decisions, like managing screen time. Parents can model reflective questioning, such as asking how the child will remember to turn off devices after a set time. This encourages children to think independently while feeling supported, preparing them for future responsibilities in a way that feels organic and less forced.
Parenting a child with big emotions, big reactions, and a neurodiverse brain can be a real challenge. ðŸ«
I know this firsthand because my son Noah has always been spicy and spirited, and he was diagnosed with ADHD at the end of 5th grade. His formal diagnosis has been a huge blessing for our family, as it has given us a way to research ways to support him and to help him understand his own unique brain and body.
One of our biggest sources of education has been The Childhood Collective, a website hosted by three moms who are experts in child development. Lori and Mallory are both child psychologists, and Katie is a speech-language pathologist. They offer incredibly helpful online courses, social media content, and a podcast called Shining with ADHD.
I was honored to be a guest on their podcast earlier this year, talking about what I have learned in my journey as the parent of a child with ADHD, and they graciously allowed me to re-air the audio from that interview here on 3 in 30.
For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.