Elizabeth Rosner, a talented novelist, poet, and essayist, explores the profound difference between hearing and listening. She shares her journey of discovering the art of listening, shaped by her family's experiences as Holocaust survivors. The conversation delves into how cultural dynamics influence our communication styles and the inner peace that comes from self-listening. Rosner also reflects on the intricacies of language in relationships and the empathetic nature of listening, especially in times of personal loss.
Listening is an art form that involves deep engagement and interpretation, distinct from the mere act of hearing.
Elizabeth Rosner's personal experiences of unspoken family history highlight how listening can be shaped by relationships and trauma.
Deep dives
The Distinction Between Hearing and Listening
Hearing is a physiological process where sound waves are sensed through the inner ear, allowing our brains to recognize different sounds, but listening transcends this basic function. It requires deep engagement, comprehension, and interpretation of what we perceive, making it more of an art than a straightforward science. This formed the basis of Elizabeth Rosner's exploration of listening, which she aptly refers to as the 'art and science of listening'. By establishing the concept of a 'third ear', she emphasizes the importance of not just the act of hearing but also the nuances of emotional and sensory interpretations that are integral to effective listening.
The Impact of Early Experiences on Listening Skills
Rosner reflects on her childhood listening experiences shaped by her family's history, particularly the secrets and whispers she encountered as a child. Her parents, both Holocaust survivors, often communicated in languages and topics that were not fully shared with her, fostering a deep curiosity about unspoken words and hidden stories. This backdrop cultivated a heightened awareness of sound and silence, compelling her to seek meaning beyond mere words. Thus, her formative experiences illustrate how the complexities of familial relationships can influence one's listening abilities and perceptions.
Listening in a Overwhelming Modern World
The modern experience is characterized by a barrage of sounds and information, making it increasingly challenging to focus on meaningful listening. Rosner discusses the pervasive nature of noise in our lives, stemming from technology and constant connectivity, which leads to a state of hypervigilance that can overwhelm our sensory systems. To combat this, practices such as meditation and sensory deprivation are gaining popularity as ways to cultivate silence and improve our listening capacities. In this noisy environment, filtering out distractions has become crucial for achieving deeper connections and understanding.
The Evolution of Listening in Personal Relationships
Rosner recounts her evolving relationship with her parents, particularly her father, highlighting how their communication transformed over time. As she matured and began to assert her identity, conflicts arose, revealing the limitations of her parents' ability to truly listen and understand her perspectives. However, in the later stages of her father's life, Rosner experienced a profound shift towards a quieter, more empathetic exchange where love was communicated even without words. This transition underscores the importance of active listening in building deeper, more meaningful connections amidst a history of trauma and misunderstanding.
There’s a difference between hearing and listening, and there’s an art to cultivating the latter. Elizabeth Rosner, novelist, poet, and essayist, joins host Krys Boyd to discuss how listening is the skill of interpretation, how she learned to hear the important things left unsaid in her own upbringing, and what science can teach us about the sounds that envelop us. Her book is “Third Ear: Reflections on the Art and Science of Listening.”
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