Grieving After Suicide: How to Support Loss Survivors with Compassion and Understanding

The grief that follows a suicide is unlike any other. It’s layered with guilt, confusion, trauma, and the persistent question: Why? In this powerful episode of Giving Voice to Depression, guest Lisa Sugarman shares her journey after losing her father, cousin, and close friend to suicide — and what she’s learned about navigating the unique and complex grief that follows.

Lisa offers deeply personal reflections on the healing power of connection, the role of the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, and the importance of understanding that you are not alone. She also discusses what to say (and what not to say) to someone who’s grieving a suicide loss — with guidance that can transform how we show up for those in pain.

Hosts Terry McGuire and Carly McCollow join Lisa for an open, compassionate discussion about suicide prevention, survivor support, and how language can either wound or heal.

If you’ve lost someone to suicide or want to learn how to support those who have, this episode offers insight, empathy, and hope.

Primary Topics Covered:

• How suicide loss grief differs from other kinds of grief
• What to say (and avoid saying) to someone who’s lost a loved one to suicide
• How to use the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (even if you’re not in immediate crisis)
• The importance of connection and peer support in healing
• How to comfort someone who feels guilt or shame after a suicide loss
• Why “grief is love” — and how to carry that love forward
• The myth that suicide is an “act of selfishness” and what’s really behind it
• Understanding the survivor’s journey and the slow, gentle process of healing

Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction: The importance of open conversations about suicide
 01:29 – Guest introduction: Lisa Sugarman’s story of loss and purpose
 02:12 – What Lisa wants others to know about suicide and grief
 03:21 – Why knowing about help like 988 before crisis matters
04:36 – How 988 and the Crisis Text Line support both suicidal individuals and survivors
06:19 – The ripple effect of suicide: 135 people impacted by every death
07:30 – Lisa’s first experience with suicide loss at nine years old
08:13 – Losing her father and the silence that followed
08:58 – Discovering the truth decades later — and processing complex grief
09:23 – How suicide loss grief is unique: guilt, trauma, and unanswered questions
10:16 – How to support someone grieving a suicide loss
11:22 – The danger of judgment and how to hold compassionate space
12:43 – Why saying their loved one’s name helps more than silence
13:42 – Using 988 for grief and emotional crises, not just suicidal thoughts
14:55 – The power of speaking with others who’ve experienced suicide loss
16:05 – Why suicide is about ending pain, not abandoning loved ones
18:19 – Reassurance for those who “did everything right” but still lost someone
19:49 – Lisa’s closing message: you won’t always feel this way
20:36 – Grief as love: learning to live with loss and carry it forward
21:27 – The importance of naming and remembering the person you lost
23:33 – Crisis lines and text options: support for every kind of crisis
26:07 – Why connection — not perfection — helps save lives
27:22 – Closing reflections and reminder: depression is too dark a road to walk alone

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