Big Think

How to live after your soulmate has died | Michelle Thaller

Oct 29, 2025
In a heartfelt discussion, Michelle Thaller, an astronomer and NASA's Assistant Director of Science Communication, shares her journey through grief after losing her husband to cancer. She describes the shock of sudden loss and the feeling of being disconnected from the world. Using physics and the arts as coping mechanisms, she explains how they helped her find meaning amid the pain. Thaller emphasizes that while grief may linger, engaging with the universe through science and creativity can illuminate a path forward in healing.
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ANECDOTE

The Shock Of Devastating News

  • Michelle Thaller describes the moment she learned her husband had brain cancer and felt utterly detached from the world.
  • She says it felt like she was on a different plane where touching things might make her fall through the floor.
ANECDOTE

Holding Hands Across Time

  • Michelle recounts the vow she and Andrew made about holding hands across the universe's timeline.
  • She uses physics to imagine that all moments in time still exist, so she remains connected to him in other parts of spacetime.
INSIGHT

Physics Reframes Grief As Coexistence

  • Physics offers a perspective that past, present, and future may be equally real, which reframes grief as coexistence rather than absence.
  • This view helped Michelle find meaning by imagining continued moments with her husband across time.
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