Talking with boys — especially tween & teenage boys — can be tricky.
Shrugs, grunts, and silence often stand in the way of the conversations parents want to have. Add in timing issues, big emotions, and the pull of devices, and it’s easy to feel like communication is impossible.
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But it’s not. Boys want connection — even if they don’t show it. With the right approach, parents can create moments where boys are more likely to listen and share. Paying attention to timing (before bed may be better than after school), providing snacks, and watching for signs of openness can help you find the best opportunities.
It also helps to balance the “transactional” talk — reminders about chores, schoolwork, or sports gear — with “relational” conversations that build trust. And when boys withdraw or respond with irritation, remember that there’s often sadness, worry, or shame behind the mask. Responding with patience, and repairing after conflict, models the lifelong communication skills our kids need most.
Takeaways:
- Timing matters — choose moments when he’s most receptive
- Snacks can open the door to conversation
- Balance management talk with genuine connection
- Don’t take grunts or shutdowns personally — look for what’s behind them
- Repair after conflict builds stronger bonds and teaches lifelong skills
Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:
Talk With Boys Like a Pro (About Anything & Everything!) – Register here
Talking to Tween & Teen Boys — ON BOYS episode
Rosalind Wiseman on How to Talk with Boys — ON BOYS episode
Talk to Boys– A Conversation with Christopher Pepper & Joanna Schroeder – Building Boys Substack Live
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