#56 Lessons from an exvangelical wanderer

Dissection of a deconstruction journey and a search for truth and meaning.

Last week, Boyd and I introduced you to the Sunday Assembly. We talked to Colin and Matt, who each lead Sunday Assembly chapters in their respective local communities (Halifax, Canada and London, UK) (#55). We had also intended to include 5 or 10 minutes from a member of our own Facebook discussion group  — Ian Redfearn — who attends a Sunday Assembly chapter in his own community (Manchester UK), to get an insider’s perspective.

However, once we got him talking, we learned so much more. In fact, we heard a compelling story — a lifelong spiritual journey — which ties together all five of our “Back to Church” episodes over the past couple months. This interview was entirely deserving of its own episode!

We learned that Ian had been a devout Evangelical Christian for many decades, active in his home church, before too many doubts and questions led him to jettison that faith. The cognitive dissonance between what he was asked to believe and what he saw with his own eyes was too much. He was no longer able to compartmentalize his thinking and his life experience. This is exactly the trajectory that Brian McLaren and Phil Drysdale told us about in episodes #53 and #54. In this, I can relate completely with Ian; and I think so will many of our listeners.

At this point in his story, Ian found himself in what Brian McLaren calls “stage-3.” But it doesn’t end here. Without his church family, Ian felt a deep need for a community … again echoing what everyone we talked to during the past five episodes all told us. The Sunday Assembly filled that need. And he’s not done moving: now he’s considering getting a graduate degree in Philosophy, Theology and Ethics. “Stage-4” … which is far better, IMO, than retreating to “Stage-1” as a militant anti-theist.

A journey indeed!

So why is his story worth listening to? Because our community has much to learn from him. He’s neither a pew-warmer nor a lazy quitter. He’s deeply thoughtful, and rejected a core element of his very being out of a sense of integrity and honesty. Anyone who has deconstructed their faith system knows how daunting that experience can be. And yet despite identifying now as an atheist, he still sees great value in that earlier part of his life, in the church and in Christian values. He and his new community simply seek to celebrate humanity, enjoy living, live better, help often, and wonder more. And as a retiree, one can only see his main reason to now pursue graduate studies as a commitment to continue seeking truth and meaning. We want to cheer him on.

His discussion with us raised many important questions, and his example raises many others. We hope you’re as moved, challenged, and inspired by his story as we were.

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