Your College Bound Kid | Admission Tips, Admission Trends & Admission Interviews

YCBK 598: What To Say to a Student In Despair Because They Didn't Get In

Dec 22, 2025
Carter Delloro, Co-Director of College Counseling at the Marymount School of New York, dives into the controversial nature of early decision policies and their implications for equity in college admissions. He argues for a shift away from these practices, discussing their institutional pressures and potential consequences. The conversation shifts to supporting students dealing with admission disappointments, with advice on normalizing rejection and reframing choices through campus visits. Practical tactics for emotional support and balanced applications are also highlighted.
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INSIGHT

Early Rounds Serve Few But Stress Many

  • Early decision benefits a tiny slice of students and heavily advantages particular colleges.
  • Around 1% of seniors get early acceptance, so the system creates outsized anxiety for most.
ADVICE

Listen First, Ask What Helps

  • When a student gets bad news, first take a breath, listen, and watch their cues before reacting.
  • Ask the student what they need and respect shifting needs over the first days.
ADVICE

Offer Choices Not Assumptions

  • Avoid assuming you know how your teen wants to cope and offer choices: talk, cry, or distract.
  • Respect that needs can change from the first night to days later and adapt support.
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