S4E13. How to go from self-neglect to self compassion with Dr Hayley D Quinn

Nov 17, 2025

In this conversation, Dr. Hayley D. Quinn, a clinical psychologist and author of From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion, highlights the often-overlooked connection between high achievement and self-neglect. She discusses how societal conditioning leads ambitious individuals to mistake sacrifice for strength. Hayley shares practical tools for cultivating self-compassion, emphasizing the importance of awareness and value-aligned choices. Plus, she offers insights into overcoming self-criticism and leading with compassion to prevent burnout. A must-listen for anyone striving to balance performance and wellbeing!

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INSIGHT

Achievement Can Hide Self-Neglect

High performance culture often equates sacrifice with strength, eroding private wellbeing over time.
Self-compassion is a skill grounded in courage, wisdom and caring commitment, not softness.

ADVICE

Question Productivity-As-Worth

Recognize societal conditioning that equates worth with productivity and service to others.
Question those messages and deliberately choose values that prioritise your wellbeing.

ANECDOTE

Leaving For Her Son, Then Herself

Hayley left an abusive relationship primarily for her son's wellbeing and later recognised it helped her own self-relationship.
That change sparked deeper self-compassion and value-aligned life decisions.

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In this episode of Stay at the Top, I’m joined again by Dr Hayley D. Quinn, clinical psychologist, author and expert in compassion-focused therapy. We explore the shift from self-neglect to self-compassion and why so many high performers confuse sacrifice with strength. Hayley shares insights from her new book, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion, along with practical tools to help you move from surviving to genuinely thriving.

If you regularly push through exhaustion, downplay your needs or struggle to create space for yourself, this conversation will help you start changing those patterns.

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