Ep 13 — Mark Epstein, MD — Advice from a Buddhist Psychiatrist
Oct 24, 2018
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Psychiatrist Mark Epstein, blending Buddhism and therapy, discusses ego's role in relationships, distractions fueling anxieties, and ways to change our relationship with our egos. He explores love's impact on ego, attachment issues, and mindfulness in fostering healthy connections.
Beware of losing oneself in a relationship by overgiving, risking loss of individuality and erotic interest.
Buddhist philosophy aids in self-discovery and managing anxiety, fostering authentic connections in relationships.
Maintaining a balance between desire and individuality in relationships prevents disappointments and nurtures healthy connections.
Deep dives
The Dangers of Giving Too Much in a Relationship
In relationships, there's a risk of extinguishing oneself by giving too much to a partner, leading to a loss of erotic interest. This cycle can result in being discarded once one's individuality is diminished.
The Influence of Buddhism on Psychiatry
The guest, a psychiatrist known for integrating Buddhist philosophy into Western psychotherapy, shared his journey into Buddhism. His interest was sparked in college through Eastern religion studies and deepened through encounters with American Buddhist teachers.
The Impact of Buddhism on Personal Growth
Buddhism resonated with the guest due to its focus on calming the anxious mind and exploring one's identity. The practice helped him navigate anxiety and insecurity, leading to self-discovery and meaningful connections with others.
Balancing Desire and Attachment in Relationships
The guest emphasized the importance of desire in relationships, highlighting the need for balance between healthy attachment and clinging behavior. He discussed how expectations of complete satisfaction from a partner can lead to disappointment and emphasized the value of maintaining individual identity in relationships.
Navigating Ego, Love, and Relationships
The guest shared insights on how individuals can nurture authentic connections in relationships by transcending ego-driven behaviors. He discussed the interplay between ego needs, love, and connection, emphasizing the significance of self-awareness and mindfulness in fostering healthy relationships.
Mark Epstein, M.D., is a psychiatrist, speaker, and author of numerous books integrating concepts from Buddhism and psychotherapy, including Thoughts Without A Thinker, Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart, and his most recent book Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. In this insightful interview, Mark describes the ego, the ways we need it, how it gets in our way, and it’s role in romantic relationships. The goal is to change our relationship to our egos, rather than get rid of it. He discusses ways to accomplish this by applying Buddhist and psychoanalytic methods with his patients and in his personal life. We live in an era with so many distractions that fuel our anxieties, and Mark’s interview grounds us by reminding us to tap into that part of ourselves that has always been there; from birth until death.
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