10 Ideas For Engaging Upset Members

10 Practical Steps for Handling Upset Individuals in Small Group Ministry

In this episode of SG Squared, Pastor Steve Gladen, with over 25 years of small group ministry experience, and his co-host Derek discuss valuable advice on managing upset individuals within small group ministry. The conversation includes light-hearted pre-show banter about their college football teams, but focuses deeply on equipping listeners with 10 practical tips for dealing with conflict. Key points discussed include listening actively, validating feelings, offering practical support, and much more. The episode concludes with the importance of patience and understanding that not all conflict situations will be resolved immediately. Listen in to gain essential tools to foster peaceful and empathetic conversations within your ministry.

10 Tips For Tough Conversations (and to download the full notes click HERE)

• Start the time in prayer.
• Make the meeting in a quiet public place
• Listen actively and empathetically: Allow the member to express their feelings without interruption or judgment. Show that you are truly hearing them by nodding, making eye contact, and offering verbal affirmations like "I understand" or "That sounds really tough."
• Validate their feelings: Let them know that their feelings are understandable given the situation. You can say something like, "It makes sense that you feel [upset emotion] about this" or "I can see why you'd be frustrated." Get to a place where you can express that "feelings" aren't "facts".
• Offer practical support (if appropriate): Ask if there's anything they are looking for to be done. This could help you know how extreme they are coming from or they just may want to be heard. You can help them brainstorm solutions, or simply pray with them.
• Suggest a distraction or activity: Sometimes a change of scenery or a fun activity can help shift their mood. This could be going for a walk, watching a movie, or doing something they enjoy. However, be sensitive to their readiness for this and don't push it if they prefer to talk. A prayer meditation time may bring another perspective.  BBasically focus on Jesus versus the situation.
• Remind them of your support: Reassure them that you care about them and are there for them. A simple "I'm here for you" or "You're not alone in this" can be very powerful.
• Encourage self-care: Suggest activities that might help them relax and de-stress, like taking a quiet time, listening to music, or getting some rest.
• Avoid minimizing their feelings: Don't say things like "It's not that big of a deal" or "You're overreacting." Even if the issue seems small to you, it's significant to them.
• Don't offer unsolicited advice: Unless they specifically ask for your opinion or solutions, focus on listening and validating. Sometimes people just need to vent.
• Share a relevant experience (briefly and cautiously): If you've gone through something similar, you might briefly share your experience to show solidarity, but avoid making the conversation about you.
• Be patient: It can take time for someone to process their emotions. Continue to check in with them and offer support as they navigate their feelings.

00:00 Welcome to SG Squared
00:21 Pre-Show Banter and Game Week Excitement
03:24 Addressing National Tensions and Church Relevance
04:17 Setting Up for Practical Tips
11:04 10 Practical Tips for Handling Upset People
28:07 Bonus Tips and Final Thoughts
33:09 Closing Remarks and Subscription Reminder